Thoughts Before the Final Red Sox Game of the Regular Season
Today marks the last game of the 2018 regular season. And while it would be nice to see the Red Sox go out on a …
My Love for Don Orsillo Cannot Be Contained
I remember Don Orsillo’s first game as permanent Red Sox commentator for NESN. It was April 4, 2001, and Hideo Nomo threw a no-hitter. I …
Guy in Fenway Monster Seats Makes the Throw of a Lifetime
If you handed someone sitting in the Fenway Monster Seats a bucket of baseballs to chuck at runners moving around the infield bases, you could …
Welcome to the Single Most Useless Red Sox-Yankees Series Ever
I’m gonna go ahead and bet that when the MLB schedule makers were putting this season together, they very likely had this weekend earmarked from …
October Baseball is Way, Way Better than Summer Baseball: A Pale Man Explains
I’ll come right out and say it: I’m pale as fuck. Boston Irish. Red hair. Skin so white it’s almost translucent. I’m the kid whose …
Paw Sox Beat Indians, Brock Holt Approves
Look, after clinching the division and winning their 104th game last night, I would have forgiven the Red Sox for rolling out a line-up against …
Red Sox Win AL East. Time to Stop Whining and Enjoy the Magic.
The Red Sox won the AL East last night, and I was so caught up in a Devil Dogs- and whiskey-induced stupor I almost forgot …
Red Sox Win the East, Puppet Red is Impressed
“We will never stop avenging 2003!”
Shitsplosion in the Bronx
This was supposed to be the night the Sox clinched the AL East. And not just closing out the division, but doing it on Yankees …
Astros, A’s or Yankees? Who’ll Face the Red Sox in the ALDS?
With just 12 games left on the regular season, the Red Sox are a lock for the playoffs. But we already knew this. The bigger …
A Thorough and Well-Researched Argument for Robot Umpires
Last night’s Red Sox/White Sox game was a stark reminder that the time has come for robot umpires. Don’t get me wrong; Eovaldi and Thornburg …
Puppet Red Is Happy that Chris Sale’s Back
“Chris Sale’s back and you’re fucked… SING IT”
I Lost Faith in the Red Sox for Ten Minutes Last Night. But Now I’m Back.
The Red Sox have won 101 games. That’s the most games they’ve won since 1946 and they will very likely surpass the record of 105 …
Red Sox Got 99 Problems But The Playoffs Ain’t One (Yet)
Actually, the Red Sox don’t have 99 problems. They may only just have a couple. One of them is Chris Sale’s arm, which should be …
Alex Cora Is the Master of Deception and We’re Too Busy Yelling to Notice
Look, Alex Cora didn’t just fall off the turnip truck and end up on Lansdowne. The man won a World Series with the Red Sox …
Brandon Saves Brandon as Red Sox Keep Crushing Everything in their Path
If you look back on past Red Sox championship seasons, you can pinpoint the precise moment when you realized we were dealing with some sort …
The Yankees Signed Andrew McCutchen and It Still Won’t Save Them
Puppet Red isn’t worried. Why should you be?
The Red Sox Are Winning Again and Everything is Awesome
Open your windows. Better yet, go outside. Let that 100 degree Boston sun hit your face. Suck in all that fresh air. Drop to the …
Red Sox Losing to Cleveland Now Means Victory in October
If you have any grounding in the classics, you know the hero has to take a few lumps before ultimate triumph. Batman has to lose …
Cora Embraces Yankees Hate, Gets Baptized into Red Sox Nation
All it ever seems to take to bring out the worst (or dare we say the best) in a person is first-hand exposure to the …
Pearceaplooza: Steve Pearce Goes Nuclear, Eliminates Yankees from Postseason
If you only have time to read seven words today, let me encapsulate last night’s game thusly: Steve Pearce is a Bad Ass Motherfucker. If …
Time to Declare Mookie Betts the Greatest Red Sox Player Ever
Alright you know that this headline’s misleading because any discussion of the greatest Red Sox player ever starts with Ted Williams, David Ortiz or Eric …
Nathan Eovaldi: A Primer
Today, we welcome Nathan Eovaldi to Red Sox Nation. And while he may look like the love child of JD Martinez and Pete Davidson, there’s …
MLB Pulls a Thanos, Snapping Its Fingers and Making a Red Sox Win Disappear
Look, this three game jaunt through Baltimore was supposed to be a joke. The Red Sox juggernaut against an Orioles team that has almost willed …
Fifteen Years Later, Revenge on Aaron Boone is Sweet
A little less than fifteen years ago, in October of 2003 to be precise, I was on a late afternoon Acela from NYC to Boston. …
100 Wins and the AL East Pennant: Are We Dreaming?
The Boston Red Sox are playing fantastic baseball this season. This is an undisputable fact. They have more wins than any other team in the …
Shane Victorino Retires, Reminding Me of the Worst Take Ever
Today, the great Shane Victorino announced his retirement from baseball. Although he’ll forever be remembered as part of the unsinkable, unshave-able Red Sox 2013 championship …
Chris Sale Addresses His Teammates While Coincidentally Holding a Very Large Samurai Sword
Okay, guys. If I can just get a minute of your time. Now you’re probably wondering why I called this quick clubhouse meeting. And you’re …
In Desperate Move to Kill Fun, Red Sox DFA Hanley Ramirez
Baseball is a business. Yeah, it’s also the national pastime and what separates us from filthy Communists, but it’s a business. Players are property, contracts …
Attn Red Sox: Celebrate Cinco de Mookie with Mucho Dinero
When David Ortiz retired, The Large Father left a sizable gap in the Red Sox line-up, erasing the one bat we could rely on to …
Is 2018 Boston’s Time to Shine on the World Series Stage?
We all know I drink a lot, but I also have the distinct reputation for being right 35% of the time. And today, right now, …
Xander Bogaerts Plays at Pawtucket… for About 250 People
Tonight, Xander Bogaerts, one of the major’s best hitters and a legit Red Sox superstar made a rehab start in Pawtucket. Because I am true …
Don’t Want to Overstate This, But the Boston Red Sox Are Currently the Greatest Thing in the History of Things
The twenty-first day of April is upon us. The Boston Red Sox have played 16 games so far this month, and lost only one of …
Red Sox PuppetCast: Alex Cora is a Wizard
The Red Sox have been off to one of the best starts in team history. But instead of sitting back and basking in all this …
The Red Sox Just Clinched the AL East
The Boston Red Sox are officially a juggernaut. They are the 800 pound gorilla of the division. They are more powerful than a speeding locomotive, …