This was supposed to be the night the Sox clinched the AL East. And not just closing out the division, but doing it on Yankees turf. The sweetest possible way to twist the knife in our most hated rival’s back, made even sweeter by the fact that it’s the inaugural managerial year of Aaron Boone. I don’t care that we pasted the Yankees in the 2004 ALCS or won three World Series titles since Booneaplooza. Any chance we get to kick Booney in the balls is a good time I’m signing up for, and the thought of him having to watch the Red Sox clinch on his front lawn has had me salivating for weeks. Maybe months.

Unfortunately, the Red Sox had other ideas. Last night, the bullpen imploded after Eovaldi worked a gem. Tonight, every goddam thing the Red Sox tried to do resulted in spectacular and resounding failure. Yes they got 9 hits, but it’s a little less impressive when you realize JD Martinez had three of them and that as a team they went 1-for-5 with runners in scoring position.

The most damning miscue came when the Sox were up 1-0, the Yankees had two outs and the bases loaded, and Edwin Nunez picked the worst possible time to forget how to field.

This opened the gates to a bed shitting of the highest order, something you wouldn’t want to put any money down on at Wincomparator. When it was over, the Sox took a 10-1 pounding. Even worse, they allowed the Yankees and their fans another 24 hours to dream of an epic division comeback.

Tomorrow night, the Sox will try for the third straight time to win the AL East, and officially relegate the Yankees to the Wild Card. I say it’s time to stop delaying the inevitable. Get the win, close the book and give us the peace and freedom to spend the next few weeks fantasizing about beating the Yankees in the ALDS.

Unless, of course, all this losing is part of the Cora Master Plan, in which case I say, carry on.