red sox 2023

After last night’s mind-numbing loss to the Yankees, rife with gaffs and miscues and just embarrassing play, it’s time for even the die-hards among us to take off the puffy foam hand and look toward the 2023 Red Sox season.

So where do we go from here? I think the Red Sox should just go nuts. Let it all hang out and make the last couple weeks somewhat memorable.

I’m talkin free beer for the fans. Let Wally pitch. Replace the ball with a fresh-baked ham. Exploding bases. John Henry dickpunch booth. Trot Nixon repairing fans’ cars in the outfield during games. Bullpens transformed into the Sam Adams Beer-Filled Wading Pools. Fenway Franks stuffed with hundred dollar bills. Alligators. Nudity. And maybe win a few games, I dunno.