Enter Sandman
Listen up, we all hate the Yankees, but there are times, few and far between, when you just have to show respect. Mariano Rivera has …
The Night Pedro Martinez Owned the All Star Game
Screw the Summer of George. 1999 was the Summer of Pedro. Watching Martinez tie up batters in fits and play Superman to Clemens’ Lex Luthor …
Let This Video of David Ortiz “Prancercising” Demonstrate the Effects of Hallucinogens on the Human Mind
This morning, we received an email from a charming bloke at MLB, telling us that we’d probably be “interested” in this “video” of David Ortiz …
Surviving Grady’s Guide to Viewing and Enjoying the 2013 All Star Game
This was filmed, and rather poorly might I add, back in 2011. The message remains the same.
Where Did The First Half Of The Season Go?
How does this happen to me every year? I spend all winter constructing scale models of the upcoming season’s players out of Cap’n Crunch. …
My Feelings on the Red Sox’ First Half, as Illustrated by the Leonardo DiCaprio Pop and Lock
Heartbreaking loss to the A’s to close out the first half? Whatevs. We head into the All Star Break with the best record in the …
Moneyballed
If we learned anything from the book and film Moneyball, it’s that the teams that win games are the teams that score runs. The Red …
South Central Lackey (I’m Sorry)
Dear John Lackey: Watching you hold down the American League’s second-best team and one of our most likely playoff opponents last night, I suddenly realized …
Clash of the 6-6 Titans!!
Tonight, the team with the best record in the American League takes on the team with the second-best record in the American League in what …
And Starring the Boston Red Sox as the 400 Pound Gorilla
For anyone not paying attention to the 2013 Boston Red Sox, it’s time to start paying attention. Like Bigfoot, The Kinks’ “Low Budget” and those …
From The “You can’t make this shit up” Files
Remember Anna Benson? Playboy Playmate, Baseball’s hottest housewife in FHM? Well look at her now! Yeah, that’s her actual mugshot after she ambushed her …
There’s a feeling I get, when I look to the west
As long as I’ve been a Red Sox fan, the mid-season, three-series trip to the west coast has always been looked at with the …
The Ellis Burks Glamour Shot Reminds You That Two Straight Losses Don’t Mean Nothin’
“Burksie here. And you know why I’m back. It’s because after just two measly losses, I hear some people talkin’ trash about the Sox. Castin’ …
“I Just Totally Held You Guys to Five Hits. Huhhuhuhuhuhuh.”
Not much to say about this one other than we got trumped by Spicoli. Maybe we were still feeling the effects of that epic loss …
John Lackey, Deliver Us From Evil
Or at least please make us forget about the shit show that was last night’s loss to the Angels. I’m not asking for much. Just …
How I Felt Watching the Red Sox Blow a Ninth Inning Lead Last Night
I stayed up to watch every bloody moment of that game, and when it was over, all I could think about was Josh Thole. Because …
Drunk Prediction: The Red Sox are Mongo, the Angels are the Horse
Really just an excuse to use this video clip. But, still. We’re looking rather Mongo-ish these days. Here’s hoping we can keep it going. Six …
What Happens When You Pitch to David Ortiz With First Base Open: A Brief Pictorial
And that was that. When Ortiz steps off the bench and starts servin’ fools with pinch-hit homers like it ain’t no thing, you know shit’s …
Kings of the East Head West
Earlier this morning, as I floated, pale and white, along some of Cape Cod’s finest waters, I found myself pondering a few questions. Like “Are …
Bombs Bursting in Air
The Red Sox completed a three-game sweep of the hapless Padres behind an 18-hit attack. The eight run barrage earned Allen Webster his first …
Welcome San Diego!
The magic of inter-league play invades Fenway Park. The 50-win Red Sox welcome their next victim, the San Diego (translates to “whale’s vagina” look it …
“John Lackey is the Sox’ Most Reliable Pitcher,” said a Totally Sober Person
Earlier this year — February to be precise — I made a bold prediction. I said that John Lackey would win 20 games in 2013. …
You Can’t Spell “Victori” Without “Victorino”
I would like to thank Shane for making all that beer and meat I downed in the hope of a win worthwhile. And he would …
Dempster Diving: Let’s Take the Series!
I can’t sweat a Saturday afternoon loss to the Jays. I just can’t. Today we get back on track and shut them down and take …
Together, We Can Help Webster Win!
Man, it’s tough watching Allen Webster pitch. Not because he gives out runs like Oprah gives out free cars. But because I feel so bad …
The Cashman-Headwarmer Dialogues: Building an F-Bomb Shelter
Cashman: Well, it’s all over the news. Headwarmer: Tell one of the biggest douches in baseball to “shut the f$%k up” and that’s gonna happen. …
The Snyder Era Begins Tonight
So they spell their names differently, but Brandon Snyder is with the big club after Will Middlebrooks was optioned to Pawtucket. Any opportunity to …
Boston: City of…?
The Bruins puked up a shot at the Stanley Cup by allowing the tying and go-ahead goals in the waning minutes of the third …
Red Sox Re-Adopt Webster
While we’ve been drooling over Clay Buchholz’s numbers, fans in Detroit have been punch-drunk over the awesomely-named Max Scherzer, who is 10-0 to start the …
If You Can’t Stand The Heat
The Spurs went back to Miami leading the NBA Finals three games to two. Manu Ginobili turned the ball over eight times (two in …
Things I’d Rather Hear Instead of “Here Comes Andrew Bailey to Close”
“As your doctor, it’s only fair to warn you that not only will this exam be highly invasive, I will be performing it with fake …
Innocent Until Proven Guilty
We interrupt this baseball blog to bring you some quick commentary on the Aaron Hernandez situation. What we know: Hernandez, Odin Lloyd, and two …
Game 5 of the 2008 ALCS: Best Sox-Rays Battle Ever
Among the great Red Sox Victories In Playoff Series We Eventually Lost, game six of the 1975 World Series perhaps stands tallest. And that makes …
Jonny Gomes Saves Day, Punts Helmet
So I asked for two wins and I got ’em. The first was a rain-interrupted make-up of a rain-interrupted game that the Sox took, 5-1. …