Motor City Madman
::Picks up phone:: Hello? Whazzup. Gasp! Dmitri Young! Scariest motherf–ker in all of baseball! How you doing, Mistah Dombrowski? Still got all them kids and …
Gone But Not Forgotten
Sunday’s Boston Globe had this bit of news in the Baseball Notes section: “Been hearing a lot about Kevin Millar eyeing a return to Boston …
Offensensitivity
“Psycho” Steve Lyons got axed by FOX for joking that Lou Pinella — who apparently is of part-Hispanic descent — ganked his wallet. Didn’t Don …
Boredom
No Pats on Sunday. Just the crappy Mets series for baseball, which matters not, because Detroit has the World Series in the bag. I guess …
Uncle Buck
.While baseball commissioner Bud Selig ponders over the fate of the wild card team in the playoffs, the nation said goodbye to a true baseball …
MVP
What? You don’t have one of these? Click here to become cool. Sorry guys, clicking the link will only get you the shirt, not the …
When Reality Comes Calling
It isn’t often Red and I stray from our daily dose of sports, attempted humor or pop culture references. We avoid religion and politics, choosing …
I See, In 2007…
Manny Ramirez: In his last three years, he has hit .324 with 20 HR’s and 66 RBI – just at Fenway Park. This season he …
Look Again, George
Fire Torre? Someone, anyone, help me understand this. You put a team of juiced-up, overpaid all-stars on the field, they don’t perform, so you call …
Behind Closed Doors
Surviving Grady was able to infiltrate the secret Yankee bunker to listen in on the post-elimination meeting… Steinbrenner: OK, you all know why we’re here. …
They Said It, Not Us
Brian Cashman: “I’m stunned. This team fooled me, to some degree.” A-Rod: “Plain and simple they dominated us. They absolutely kicked our ass.” Derek Jeter: …
Feelin’ Kinda Johnson
Kenny Rogers ain’t one of my favorite people. I’d almost rather be strapped down Clockwork Orange-style and forced to watch looping video of the other …
He’s a Cool Exec, With a Heart of Steel
In the mad blur of MLB playoff coverage over FOX and ESPN, I heard someone refer to Derek Jeter as “the Iron Man.” And I …
A Momentary Lapse of Reason
Now that play at the plate in yesterday’s Mets/Dodgers match-up was one of the weirdest things I’ve done ever seen. Check the video for yourself …
Detroit Breakdown
Not that I expected much out of the Tigers, but the 5-run 3rd inning put an early end to game 1. Leyland evidently conceded at …
Requiem for a Season
In many ways, Sunday’s game was probably the most fitting way for the Red Sox’ 2006 season to end. An unfinished spectacle under cloudy skies, …
As If It Matters
The regular season is finally over. I’d forgotten how agonizing it is to watch an out-of-contention team play out the schedule. Like watching your favorite …
Like You Wanted to Talk About Last Night’s Loss Anyway
Screech made a sex tape! You know Screech? From Saved by the Bell? He made a sex tape! A tape! In which he’s having sex! …
It’s high time for a walk on the real side
Let’s admit the bastards beat us The New York Yankees are going to finish the 2006 regular season with at least 97 wins, a double-digit …
And Don’t Think It Hasn’t Been a Little Slice of Heaven…
He’s a gamer, a dirt dog and a brawler. He runs blindly into walls, proudly sports the filthiest cap in all of baseball and is …
Get About as Much Attention as a Circus On the Moon
::Arranging chess pieces on a board:: Okay. Wang can start the ALDS. Then we’ll go to Moose. And then… hmmm… ::phone rings:: Hello? Mr. Cashman, …
More Sweet Than Bitter, Bitter Than Sweet
God damn this team. I’d forgotten about them. Left them in a pile of yesterday’s dust. They were so over in my book, you needed …
I Want You Back
So the Red Sox season is officially over. Time to think football and hibernation. Inevitably, it is also time for the annual “trade Manny” debate …
Another Reason to Bring Back Roger in 2007
The Debbie Clemens-Shonda Schilling combo will instantly give us more MILF cred than any other team in Major League Baseball. Oh, and he can still …
Most Valuable
Forget the 52 homeruns. Forget the 133 RBI. Forget the clutch hits and walkoff blasts. There are more reasons why David Ortiz is our Most …
Bizarro World
This is the legit headline at sportsline: Tavarez pitches complete game in BoSox victory over Jays I shit you not. How does this happen? The …
Here It Goes Here It Goes Here It Goes Again
In a season that has brought us plague, pestilence and Jason Johnson, Ortiz has been the one sure thing. Our go-to guy whenever games — …
In Between Days
In my mind, last night’s game represented a perfect microcosm of the 2006 season, in convenient three-hour format. You had your moment of unbridled awesomeness, …
I’m Out!
Sorry everybody, I just can’t do this anymore. For the rest of this colossally disappointing season, I’ll be watching from afar. The games…they just hurt …
The Best Red Sox Game I Ever Attended
Dad got the tickets, because that’s what Dad did. He just waved his hands like some goddam illusionist and suddenly, bam!, there were tickets. To …
Willie Stargell for National Talk Like a Pirate Day
If you’re gonna do this goddam thing, do it right. Talk about how you hit 32 home runs during that magical 1979 season and how …
Thank You Sir May I Have Twelve Others
Hey, God. Red here. Thanks for listening. That worked out great. And now, while I seem to be in your good graces, I’ve got a …
Everything Looks Worse in Black and White
It’s sad to think about what this series could have meant. Hell, what most of us thought it would mean a month ago. The showdown …
Last Splash
Hey God. Red here. You know, I don’t ask for much. And seeing as how you never saw fit to grant me that thing with …
St. Elsewhere
Hey, we won. Coming from behind and everything. Seriously, at the end of the night, we had a bigger number in that crazy box thing …