Screech made a sex tape! You know Screech? From Saved by the Bell? He made a sex tape! A tape! In which he’s having sex! With two women! Check it:

In a 42-second clip of the tape available on TMZ.com, Diamond narrates the “unbelievably graphic” action between himself and the two women, which, well, climaxes with Diamond engaging one of the participants in a sex act known as a “dirty Sanchez.”

The tape starts out with Diamond in a bathtub and a female voice informing him that “it’s recording.” By the end, Diamond is describing the scene in bleeped-out detail.

“Gentlemen, as always, I have gone above and beyond the call of duty,” he says on the video.

Also, Steve Brady is my hero. He knows why.