I Brought You Into This World, I Can Take You Out
A week and a half ago, the Red Sox were three games out in the AL East and starting a series with the first-place Blue …
Wake and the Shemp Game
I’m one of the few guys in the world who can’t stand watching The Three Stooges. But I do know this: If I had to …
The Cashman-Headwarmer Dialogues: They Love It When a Plan Comes Together
Cashman: ::opening the box:: We’ve got a May cold front moving in, Headwarmer. I’m officially taking you out of storage. Headwarmer: My God. How long …
After Denton’s Post, Red Offers a Far More Rational Explanation for Tek’s Power Surge: Exposure to Gamma Radiation or Super-Human Experimentation
Steroids? Denton, come on. The Captain is having a kick-ass season thus far — putting up numbers we long since assumed to be out of …
Juice Guy?
I’ve been waiting to pull the trigger on this post for a while. Part of me was thinking the Captain would slow down his homerun …
Drag Me To Hell…It Beats The Metrodome
Another night in Minnesota, another loss for the Red Sox. Setting foot in the Metrodome seems to suck the will to live out of the …
Put Your Make-Up On, Fix Your Hair Up Pretty. And Meet Daisuke Tonight in Atlantic City.
Actually, better head to Minnesota instead. Because that’s where he’ll be. Hopefully washing away the memories of last night’s loss to the Twinkies. It’s been …
Greatest Baseball-Themed Commercial. Ever.
I could waste some of your valuable time talking about Jon Lester’s struggles or whether or not Papi’s found a home in the six hole …
Unmasked!
On Saturday evening I had the pleasure of spending some quality time with a group of faithful SG readers. It was everything I feared it …
John Ritter Represents
You know how sometimes you pass out in a drunken stupor fall asleep in front of the TV set, then wake up a few hours …
Mike Lowell and His Surgically-Repaired Hip Say, "Hi." Then They Kick Your Ass.
Count me among the fools who thought aloud that Mikey Lowell could be an offensive casualty in his first full season back from hip surgery, …
If Loving You is Wrong, Tim Wakefield, then I Don’t Ever Want to Be Right
Even though the offense was the star of yesterday’s 12-5 pummeling of the New York Mets, I’d be lying if I didn’t say the real …
As Van Morrison Reminded Us, There’ll Be Days Like This
I approach interleague play the same way I approach a new album from the Black Eyed Peas: utter indifference which turns to disgust as it …
Beautiful Night for a Beckett-Propelled Beatdown
Today, I’m calling for two things. The first is Josh Beckett’s return to what scientists refer to as “Josh Beckett mode.” I’m talking asses kicked, …
Into The Fray
As promised, I’m heading in to the big city to join the mob of crazed SG followers. If I don’t return safely, it’s been a …
Score One for the Bad Guys
My first experience with gut-wrenching, fist-pounding failure was the ’86 World Series. I remember watching the final out of the final game, seeing Gary Carter …
Desperately Seeking Amalie
Been following Ms. Benjamin’s tweets for some time now. And I dig them, because it’s Amalie and she knows her stuff. But sometimes I wish …
A Victory Over the Blue Jays is a Victory for America!
Not since the infamous Operation Canuck of 1978, in which then-President Carter ordered all Canadians out of the United States, have I been this happy …
I Dub Thee… Youkbacca
I can’t believe I’ve been staring at that mug for so long… and only now have come to the conclusion that he must be called …
Papi Homers and Suddenly Everything Is Right In My World Again
Thank God. That’s the first thought that crept into my mind when Ortiz unfurled those tree-limb arms and crushed his first home run of the …
The Ice Is Broken
The crowd was chanting “LET’S GO PAPI,” refusing to give up on David Ortiz. And once again, the faithful were rewarded: His Papiness jacked his …
We See An Excuse to Get a Heidi and Millar Shot Posted, We Take It.
I’ll be at tonight’s game with First Officer Rousseaux (AKA Curtis). We’ll be drinking, cursing, Heidi-stalking, Cito-dissing and generally doing the things that half-assed white …
Return of the Beard
Lock up the women and children, Kevin Youkilis returns to the Red Sox line-up tonight after missing 13 games with a strained oblique muscle. How …
Bill Janovitz Represents: The Ballad of Tim Wakefield
I’ve made no secret of my love for local rock star, Friend of Gammons and all-around nice guy Bill Janovitz of Buffalo Tom. Now the …
A Quick One with Coco and Dom
Earlier this month, when the great Dom DeLuise passed, I asked the Sox to win that night’s game for Dom. “Not DiMaggio,” I wrote, “Dom …
The Curious Case of Tim Wakefield
File another chapter in the ongoing, ever-baffling tale of Tim Wakefield. Last time out, he gets a “Shawshank Special” from the Anaheim Angels, giving up …
Hot East-on-East Action, Starring Kevin Millar
Tonight’s a magical night at the Fens. Not because the boys are back home after a most wretched road trip, but because it marks the …
Five Things About the 2009 Red Sox That I Wouldn’t Have Believed If You Told Me Back in February
That Jon Lester would start off 2-4 with a 6.51 ERA: Hey, even Superman got his ass handed to him by Phineas the Wonder Pony …
Even the Moose Knows It’s Gone
How good is Jason Bay these days? So good, he’s even upsetting team mascots. And watching that silly ass moose’s head swivel when Bay connected …
Rock Bottom?
After David Ortiz had the worst game of his career on Thursday – probably at any level he’s played – he was given Friday (and …
I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.
Yesterday turned out to be a three-course shit banquet. The Red Sox…we’ve already covered that mess. The Celtics let one slip away with a little …
Wanna Get Away?
Apparently home plate umpire Bill Miller did. Did he have an afternoon tee time perhaps? A hot date with the waitress he met at Denny’s? …
May Bay
Including last night’s Wakefield meltdown, the Red Sox have played 12 games in May. They are 7-5 in those games, not bad considering six were …
You Take the Good, You Take the Bad.
I awoke this morning on the left coast to two messages: SG had won NE Blog of the Year… and Youk was hitting the 15-day …
It’s A Major Award!
Red and I owe a huge “THANK YOU” to everyone that supported Surviving Grady in the New England Sports Blog Awards. The Governor of Red …