I’ll be at tonight’s game with First Officer Rousseaux (AKA Curtis). We’ll be drinking, cursing, Heidi-stalking, Cito-dissing and generally doing the things that half-assed white guys do when they go to a ballgame. If you see us, please say, “Hi, Red.” And then run away. Because no good comes from mixing up with the likes of us.

Tomorrow, photos. But for now: we’ve got a gorgeous night at Fenway on tap and a game thread in the comments. Wherever you’re taking in the game, members of Red Sox Nation, I have but one request for you. Keep it real.

Seacrest out.