Lock up the women and children, Kevin Youkilis returns to the Red Sox line-up tonight after missing 13 games with a strained oblique muscle. How much have they missed that sweaty, hairy, ornery SOB? A lot.

In the 25 games Youkilis played, the Sox went 16-10 while scoring an average of 5.64 runs per game. In the 13 games Youk missed, the Sox were 7-6 scoring an average of 4.92 runs per game. Three of those six losses were one-run games.

The Beard injects his .393 batting average into tonight’s line-up, along with his ass-kicking mentality and general badassery. Don’t miss it.