Respect The Bell
And while you’re at it, respect Mueller, Tek, Damon, Foulke and even Millar. Last night was the definition of a team victory. Everyone in the …
Big Willie Style
The Pirates are in town tonight, which means it’s time to sing the praises of my favorite Pirate ever, Willie Stargell. Dude hit 475 home …
Start Me Up
First things first: I didn’t see any of last night’s game. Instead, I was careening 37,000 feet above the earth, praying to any deity I …
The Sun Has Gone Down and the Moon Has Come Up, and Long Ago Somebody Left with the Cup
Manhandled. Shut down. David Wells takes the hill and the Cincinnati Reds scamper away like a pack of frightened Ring Dings. A 7-0 victory. Wells …
Papa Tek
Congratulations to Captain Jason Varitek and family on the birth of their third daughter yesterday. They named the new addition Caroline. Interesting, even “sweet” you …
Wakefield Standard Time
Just when I thought I’d rather drink the sweat off a gorilla’s nutsack than see another Tim Wakefield start, the guy comes through in a …
Change of Scenery
So what did you do this weekend?Well, instead of watching the Sox drop another to Chicago, I did my part for the George Lucas Retirement …
Dear Major League Baseball
Screw you. Seriously, a 2:20pm start for today’s earth-crunching, baseball-lover’s wet dream of a match-up between the Red Sox and Cubs? I know it’s Wrigley …
Control Freak
He may be old. He may be fat. But the dude throws strikes. David Wells went 8 strong innings, shutting out the Cardinals, and walking …
Look Sharp. Please.
Remember how you felt after Game Seven of the 2003 ALCS? Throat all knotted up. Dry heaves at the office. Senses dulled. Blood heated. Lungs …
A Small Silver Lining
The night could have been perfect. The 2004 World Series rematch. Edgar Renteria returning to the field where his last at bat ended that very …
To My Godson Thaddeus on His Graduation from Pre-School
Dearest Thaddeus. This is Red, the man your parents, for some inexplicable reason, have entrusted to guide you through this life if, God help us, …
Same Old Song And Dance
Anyone care to guess what the Red Sox record for the last 30 days is? If you guessed .500, well take your prize, Jaspar. The …
Gotta Be the Shoes!
Johnny Damon, I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Sorry I ever thought that your wedding and book signings and TV appearances and banjo tour of …
You Woke Up My Neighborhood
Anything can happen. That was the goddam mission statement of the 2004 Red Sox season. One minute we’re watching our boys go down three games …
Ghosts of Seasons Past
Is it just me or is this season becoming hauntingly reminiscent of last year? Not that it turned out so bad in the end, but …
We’ll Drink to That
Four innings deep and it looked like a replay of Monday night’s game. Nothing doing offensively, with each successive Sox at-bat about as alluring as …
The Day After
Our boy Brandon on the business end of an uncharacteristic shelling. The bats that came to life in New York lulled back to sleep by …
Movin’ On Up
OK, I’ll admit it. In the first inning I was calling for Wells’ head. I was contemplating what the team would do with him, considering …
Emancipation Proclamation
Key hits from the guys who needed to deliver them most? Check. [Most pleasing was Edgah’s grand slam.] Another exceptional performance by Matt “Send it …
Back to the Future
Hey, it’s only May, right? Right? Not much more I can say other than the Sox had ample opportunity to put this one away, and …
The View From Fourth Place
Things sure are a little colder and darker down here. There are creepy skittering noises from the shadows, and a dank draft chills us to …
Words Fail Me
Read all about it here. Or you could just pay someone to tap your nuts with a hammer.
Americans, Idle
Remember how Kevin Spacey won an Oscar for American Beauty? Dude was so good in the flick, we were able to overlook such follow-up tripe …
How to Dismantle an Atomic Bum
Okay, Red Sox, I have to admit. As much as I love you guys, you weren’t my first choice last night. I had originally planned …
Kevin Millar Has a Time Machine
[With apologies to McSweeney’s] June 9, 1863Brandy Station, Virginia General Robert E. Lee: Men, I know these last few weeks have been hard. But we’ve …
Show Me the Way to Go Home
In San Diego for a conference last week. One of the most gorgeous cities on the planet and I’m confined mostly to sterile hotel conference …
Semantics
I’m torn. I can’t decide if that was more of a debacle or a clusterfuck. Shut down by a 21-year old making his MLB debut. …
Between Innings
As I’ve mentioned before, and will probably continue to mention all year because it is such a great innovation, I have the MLB Extra Innings …
Homeward Bound
The conversation on the mound: Francona: Wow, he really battled today. And when I say battled, I mean sucked. Now I have to sit in …
Edgah!
Slowly, quietly, Edgar Renteria has been showing signs of becoming the player Theo and RSN expected when he put on a Red Sox uniform. Last …
LOB Equals LOSS
Timely hitting. Timely freakin’ hitting. Where did it go? A strong effort by Arroyo, not dominating, but good enough to win on most nights, was …
400…Not Enough
The Red Sox dropped the game and the series, falling to the M’s 5-4, despite Manny’s 400th career homerun. To me, when a player reaches …
Weakness in Seattle
Well that was three hours of my life that I’ll never get back.
The 2005 Red Sox Beards: A Spotter’s Guide
The Cro-Magnon: A throwback to a simpler time, when men roamed the land free from taxation, fast food restaurants, and the threat of a Bad …