"Perhaps You’ve Seen My Work As Jonathan Papelbon’s Ass"
So Dunkin’ Donuts has this commercial with Jonathan Papelbon. And it shows him getting a long line of congratulatory ass-slaps after a game — a …
You Cannot Stop Manny Ramirez. You Can Only Hope to Contain Him.
See that guy in the photo above? Man, I love that dude.
Troy Revisited
After watching what can only be described as a lethargic performance by the Red Sox, I casually flipped through the channels and stumbled upon the …
Edgar Renteria Laughs at Your Lustful Booing!
He does! Seriously! You’re up there, thinking you’re getting on his nerves by giving him what for from the bleachers and grandstands and barrooms and …
A Message From Rex
Bow to your sen-sei. Bow to your sen-sei! I think you all know who I am but for those who don’t, I’m Rex, founder of …
Doug Mirabelli Makes Us Cry. Again.
Bill Buckner had another heartfelt homecoming, wiping tears from his eyes as he walked to the mound to throw the first pitch. Li’l Johnny Pesky …
Bling!
Finally, the marathon of opening days is over. And what a way to cap them off. A great ceremony – or so I hear as …
My Fenway Opening Day Fantasy
I’ve always felt that if you’re world champs, you should get to open the next season at home. No questions asked. You just sit there …
How’s Your Faith?
Swept out of the Rogers Center like an expansion team. The ace and expected Cy Young candidate can’t get out of the fifth inning. Three …
By-Tor and the Snow Lugo
The minute that ball left Delcarmen’s hand, I calmly placed my beer on the floor, headed into the kitchen, found a corkscrew, and briefly considered …
Revenge, Thy Name Is Beckett
After two miserable losses in the Great White North, we turn to our stopper. Josh. El Beckko. Commander Kick Ass of the F@#k Yeah Brigade. …
Toronto Baby Blues
The 50,000-plus who visited the Rogers Center last night were in for a treat. Alex Rios signed a fat long-term deal, Roberto Alomar threw out …
Another Opening Day, Another Country
The road trip continues. Tonight, it’s the Great White North. Tim Wakefield enters Thunderdome to take on the “if they stay healthy” Blue Jays. The …
Hawkman Would Like to Officially Clear His Cousin in that Fenway Park Fracas
Here’s the thing. This fairly sweet grove of trees in the Fenway area was my grandfather’s home. Then one day in 1911, these f@#king guys …
David Ortiz Asks, "Is There No One On This Planet Who Will Challenge Me?"
A spectacular quote from The Large Father on the Globe’s Extra Bases blog, regarding the futile attempts of such alleged “Papi Neutralizers” as Mike Myers …
Kevin Youkilis: He’s Like a Vacuum, They Say
Two stellar, back-to-back pitching performances from Matsuzaka and Lester. Hits and home runs from Ortiz and Tek. The first official Manny “let me pull up …
Jon Lester Can Do It: The Atom Explains
I see in the comments from one of yesterday’s posts how some of you were so excited that Superman was able to predict a Dice-K …
Vindicated?
Curt Schilling. A-Rod. Canseco. Three guys you either love or hate, tossing verbal assaults at each other through the media. It really is baseball season. …
Manny Knows Best
If you ask, “Who’s the most likely Sox player to be featured in a Father’s Day ad for Macy’s?”, the first thought that probably comes …
The Diceman Rolls
I’m glad to see The Man of Steel does not lie. Dice-K did, in fact, sack the f@#k up. Choose your cliche to describe last …
The Man of Steel Insists: Daisuke Matsuzaka Will Sack The F@#k Up!
People of Earth, I’m not from here. But I have vowed to protect my adopted homeland. Just as Daisuke Matsuzaka has vowed to step it …
April Fool?
For years we’ve been hearing the mantra “if they stay healthy, they can compete” regarding the Toronto Blue Jays. And every year they don’t stay …
Red Sox Throwdown: Best Opening Day Home Run Ever!
Red: Here it is. Write it down. Without question, it is Manny Ramirez’ home run on the first pitch of his first at-bat as a …
Mini-Ball
Well, that was interesting. Possibly the most surreal game I’ve ever watched. The stadium looked unfinished with metal towers jutting up in unlikely spots. The …
Escape From L.A.
Yes, it’s something of a buzzkill to go back to grapefruit city after a couple actual games, but part of what will have me glued …
Your Daily Jim Rice Fix: Now Available Online
Everybody that reads this site knows of our love for all things Jim Rice. We loved watching him as a player, his tenacity remains unquestioned. …
If I Ran the Fenway Soundboard
You know that bit at the end of Guns ‘n’ Roses’ “Mr. Brownstone,” where Axl busts with a little “Yowza!“? That would be played every …
Spring Training Theatre Presents Doug Mirabelli and Kevin Cash in, "Bang the Catcher Slowly"
::answers phone:: Hello? Hey. Hey. Who’s this? So… you’re pretty good at handling that knuckler, huh? ::rubs his temples:: Mirabelli, what do you want now? …
We Now Return You To Spring Training
Game two of the Japanese trip fell a bit short of the magic that was game one. Other than a Manzilla home run – which …
Big In Japan.
Now remember, Comcast, we have a deal: I overlook the fact that you guys are bleeding me dry for sporadic internet service and movie channels …
Manny Time
After providing most of the offense in the “breakfast classic” this morning, Manny actually spoke to the reporters. The quotable Manny talks about his $10,000 …
Breakfast With Remy
Folks, I’ve slept through meetings, weddings, funerals, movies, plays, flights, busrides, lectures, cookouts and, on at least three occasions, intercourse. But this morning — like, …
It’s Not Opening Day Until James Earl Jones Says It’s Opening Day
The Sox’ season officially opens tomorrow morning. As is our custom here at SG, we’re slipping into the mood with a little James Earl Jones, …
David Ortiz: Making Wedding Photos Better
The Herald had this cool picture of Papi and a newly-minted couple in a Japanese hotel lobby: He was just walking along the lobby, headed …
Happy Easter!
Two more days and it’s on. Big Papi set the tone with a long ball yesterday, as did Mr. Drew. And if he gets any …