Posts in category EllsburynElf

What happens when the business of baseball threatens to divide the bond that exists between two teammates who are also fictional roommates? That’s a question …

Hello, assholes, and welcome to game three of the ALCS between the Boston Red Sox and the Detroit Tigers. The big story today, as you …

Yet another installment of the heart-stoppingly wretched series that imagines Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury as roommates. Like that show with Balki. But they’re baseball …

The recent news that the FBI and Homeland Security have been collecting phone records and monitoring our calls for years unleashed a shockwave of OUTRAGE …

We all agree that last season was a shitshow for the ages. But did it really happen? That’s the theme of today’s ambitious and, honestly, …

So anyway, Daisuke, we’re glad to have you back. Yes. Now there’s a couple new and perhaps unfamiliar faces on the team, so I want …

INITIATIVE #1: TOM WAITS, FIRST BASE COACH ::Cracks one to right field, starts motoring to first:: I got some dragstrip courage, I can really drive …

::Somewhere in suburbia:: Best thing about no longer managing is losing that Bigelow Tea contract. ::Pours himself a double bourbon:: There’s my little pre-game pick-me-up. …

Yo, Ells. Dinklage and I are hittin’ Revere Beach to troll for chicks. Troll, indeed. Perchance to screw. Ha! See that? I bring Pete along …

I appreciate you offering to drive me to Pittsburgh. No worries. Teets thought it would make sense. Give you a chance to relax. Find your …

Man, nothing like a few brewskis with the guys. Yes, we are fortunate for these opportunities to imbibe and commiserate regarding our current malaise. Malwhat? …

Our story begins on Christmas Eve in a small but well-appointed Boston townhouse… Okay, we’ve sung “The Friendly Beasts,” turned the last page of the …

Ahem. ::clears throat:: The f#$k? Who are you and what are you doing in my broadcast booth? Mister Cashman sent me. Said after last night’s …

Do you really want to sit back and rehash that last shitshow of a series at the Trop? Neither does Remy. So let’s get a …

::Morning, September 11, 2013:: Dude. Wake up. It’s time for breakfast. Shhkkzz… wha? Today’s the day. The big day. Huh? You know. Your thirtieth birthday! …

Coming up next on “Red Sox Real Married Couples,” there’ll be laughs aplenty as John Henry and his young bride meet with a robot fertility …

Anybody home? If you’re waiting for “Get Your Picture Taken With the 2008 MVP Day,” that’s only on Wednesdays. We’re actually lookin’ for yer roommate. …

The All-Star break has left some Red Sox fans with an insatiable THIRST for baseball. But you may not know that many players feel your …

Why are you packing? We’re on a homestand. I think I’m gonna stay with the Papelbons for a couple days. Dude? You’re leaving the apartment? …

This has been a magical year for you, Dustin. Uh-huh. MVP. Gold Glove. Silver Slugger. Trails of satisfied women as far as the eye can …

Last year, when Our Man Pedey took Rookie of the Year honors, we rolled out a very special episode of Ellsbury ‘n’ Elf to commemorate …

Think the handsome millionaires who play for your favorite pro baseball teams are immune to the current economic slowdown and credit crunch? Guess again! They …

Time for a quick game of GTA? Dude. I’m packing for the All-Star Game. Please respect the sanctity and emotion that surrounds this task. ::looks …

Folks, you’ve been forced to endure NESN’s “The Adventures of Ellsbury ‘n’ Elf” here at SurvivingGrady.com for some time now. But did you ever wonder …

And now, ladies, my rendition of KISS’ “God of Thunder.” ::swoon:: Dustin! What the f@#k is going on? It’s three in the morning! Chill. We’re …

Hey, look. Here comes Dustin. ::Throws opens door, visibly staggering:: Guess who’s home, bitches? Looks like Little Dustin’s home to me. How ’bout you, Hazel? …

Check it, ladies. My roommate’s home. What’s up. Hey, Dustin. How was school today? School? Look at all that dirt on his big-boy slacks. He …