And now, ladies, my rendition of KISS’ “God of Thunder.”


Dustin! What the f@#k is going on? It’s three in the morning!

Chill. We’re just playin’ a little Guitar Hero.

And where are your pants?

I’m done with pants. They just drag down my on-the-go lifestyle.

Well, shut up! You’ll wake up the landlord.

::Knock at the door::

Shyte. There he is!

Open up in there.

Hey, Mister Furley. How goes it?

Don’t you “how goes it?” me. It’s three in the morning! I’ve got a good mind to–

We’re sorry. We promise, we’re going to bed right now.

Hey, Dustin, you were gonna teach us to read.

What the–? Are those… girls?

Er, technically, yes. But there’s a good…

Jacoby, you know the rules of this apartment complex, right?

Yes sir.

And that the only reason you and Dustin are getting this remarkable place at that ridiculous rent is because you insisted that you two were… you know… ::leans in and whispers:: “special friends.”*

Uh. Correct.

But now you’ve got an apartment full of girls. At three in the morning!

Yes sir.

Looks to me like we’ve got a serious lease violation on our hands. And I’m gonna have to ask you to pack up and leave.

But, sir. There’s a reasonable explanation to this. It, uh–

Hey… Mister Furley. Have you seen Jacoby’s article in Men’s Vogue?

Men’s what?

Men’s Vogue. It’s a… really important fashion magazine. ::hands him a copy:: All the fellas read it.

Fellas, huh? Lemme see that thing.

::opens magazine::

::closes magazine::

I’ve seen enough! You guys can stay! But no more noise!

Thank you, Mister Furley.

Wow. Quick thinking, Dustin.

Aw, that was nothin’. You should have seen what we had to do to keep our last place.

Hey, they always paid their rent on time. What do I care what they were doing with those emus?

*Not that there’s anything wrong with that.