So anyway, Daisuke, we’re glad to have you back.


Now there’s a couple new and perhaps unfamiliar faces on the team, so I want to make sure you’re up to speed.


This here’s Nick Punto.


And over here we got Marlon Byrd. Between you and me, Daisuke, don’t get used to this guy.

Uh. Hi.

And this is. Er. Daniel Nava?


And over here we got. Um. Help me out, kid.

Daniel Nava.

Waitaminute, we just met Daniel Nava.

Actually, I’m Will Middlebrooks. I just didn’t want to have to correct you.

Heh. He’s funny. I like Daniel Nava.


Not YOU, turkey tits. The OTHER Daniel Nava.

Hell, there’s been so many new faces, I pay the clubhouse kid a tenner to help me keep ’em straight. Ain’t that right, Pietro?

Who are you calling Pietro? I’m Ryan Sweeney.


One of your fu#$king teammates.

Well if you’re Ryan Sweeney, who’s this guy?

Scott Podsednik.

Heh. Good one. “Scott Podsednik” retired like years ago after he injured himself eating too much ham.

Well then who do you think I am?

Judging from the dulcet tones of “She’s Gone” I heard this morning in the clubhouse shower I thought you were “Oates” of “Hall and Oates.”

No. And… I thought I was alone in the showers?

Oh, I was under the drains. In the floor. They let me hang out there sometimes.




::eats sandwich::

I’m still trying to figure out why he shouldn’t get used to me? Is that foreshadowing?

Look, you guys can work this shit out on your own. All you need to know is that Daisuke Matsuzaka is pitching for us on Saturday. End of story.

So, er… which one of these guys parks my car?

F$%k, Lacks, we’ll deal with you in September.

Understood. Also, I’m a huge fan, Mr. Oates.