Lester, Lester, Lester!
One earned run through seven plus. Six Ks. Big win. Tied for the most wins in the AL. Virtually locked for first in the East. …
Posts in category Alcohol Inspired
Four Games Up in the AL East? Cue Theme Song!
Just substitute Fenway Park for the “dee-luxe apartment.”
How I Stay Grounded When the 2013 Red Sox Lose
If you watched that entire clip, and got the secret “coded” message, then I hope you agree. 2013 Red Sox baby. Nuff said.
There are No Gimmes in Baseball, But, Dammit, Two Straight Losses to the Astros Would Be Unacceptable
“They’re a bunch of gamers.” “That’s a tough team in that other clubhouse.” “We knew coming in that they’d be tough.” Horse shit. There is …
The First Rule of Twitter Fight Club Is…
…you do not talk about Twitter Fight Club. Because, let’s face it, Twitter fights are about as pointless as stumbling into In-N-Out Burger after a …
Nothing Bolsters Our Chances of Winning Like Photos of the Former Ladies of NESN
In all honesty, I planned a richly-detailed analysis of the upcoming Sox-Orioles series and what it means to both teams. But then I found myself …
Let This Video of David Ortiz “Prancercising” Demonstrate the Effects of Hallucinogens on the Human Mind
This morning, we received an email from a charming bloke at MLB, telling us that we’d probably be “interested” in this “video” of David Ortiz …
My Feelings on the Red Sox’ First Half, as Illustrated by the Leonardo DiCaprio Pop and Lock
Heartbreaking loss to the A’s to close out the first half? Whatevs. We head into the All Star Break with the best record in the …
“John Lackey is the Sox’ Most Reliable Pitcher,” said a Totally Sober Person
Earlier this year — February to be precise — I made a bold prediction. I said that John Lackey would win 20 games in 2013. …
Things I’d Rather Hear Instead of “Here Comes Andrew Bailey to Close”
“As your doctor, it’s only fair to warn you that not only will this exam be highly invasive, I will be performing it with fake …
Ten Much Cooler Endings for Last Night’s Red Sox-Orioles Game
Look, Red Sox. You know I’ll be there through the thick and the thin. But as a working stiff whose boss is always looking for …
All’s Well That Finally Ends. Plus, We Won.
Full disclosure: I started writing this post somewhere around the eighth inning, hoping that as tight as things got, the Sox would pull it out. …
Your Move, Jonny Gomes
Gotta love this ad for The Lower Depths in the latest Dig. My question is, who on the team would be crazy enough to do …
Open Letter from the Justice League of America to Jon Lester
First of all, I know you’re doing great things in your current role. With last night’s one-hit performance over the cursed Blue Jays you have …
Nick Fury Presents: The Fantastic Adventures of the League of Former Red Sox Managers!
There was an idea… To bring together a group of former Red Sox managers. So that when we needed them, they could fight the battles …
Josh Beckett Addresses His Teammates in a Manner That Only Those Who Fear Guns Would Consider “Threatening”
Evening, gents. Now I know these pre-game “pep talks” got a bit dicey last month when some of you didn’t like the way I was …
Josh Beckett Has a Time Machine
You understand what’s at stake here. Yeah. We all like Julio. He’s a nice guy. Lotsa fun in the clubhouse. Hell, if I had a …