Before we talk about the game, please follow this link and click on the examples. This is the kind of shit the Red Sox need. Isn’t that why we loved the 2004 team? They were doing shots of JD, throwing pumpkins out hotel room windows, chanting “Cowboy Up” and showing Kevin Millar doing his Springsteen impersonation on the Jumbotron. They screwed around off the field and kicked ass on the field. This “all business” persona the 2013 team has is too Patriotesque for me.

Wouldn’t you run to the computer every morning to see “Jarrod¬†Saltalamacchia Reads Shakespeare in Pig Latin” or “David Ortiz’s Interpretive Dance to Hall and Oates Favorites.” Of course you would, and so would I.

Unfortunately, today’s version of Bruce Chen’s Joke of the Day has the Red Sox as the punchline. The Sox face another lefty pitcher, and once again walk away with a loss. You can’t hang this one on Lester, his fielders weren’t exactly flashing the leather behind him. But the loss sits squarely on the shoulders of the right-handed bats. They just aren’t getting it done. In fact, Ellsbury and Drew had four of the Red Sox seven hits. And this just in: Mike Napoli strikes out a lot, he doesn’t care what hand you’re throwing with.

Tonight we get my new favorite crazy man, Jake Peavy. Expect big things.