Not Dead Yet
So. Who wants to help me carry this to Baltimore?
Josh Beckett Addresses His Teammates in a Manner That Only Those Who Fear Guns Would Consider “Threatening”
Evening, gents. Now I know these pre-game “pep talks” got a bit dicey last month when some of you didn’t like the way I was …
Jacoby Ellsbury Apologizes for Ruining Your October Plans
It’s too bad we’ve only got one Jacoby Ellsbury. Because if we had two or possibly three of him, we may have already sealed up …
The Surviving Grady Strategy for Surviving Today’s Must-Win Starts by Wakefield and Lackey
1. Surround yourself with several Pabst tall boys. 2. Finish one can for every run given up by either Wake or Lackey. 3. If you …
Backing Into the Playoffs: Every Bit as Acceptable as Admitting You Like that “Muskrat Love” Song
Maybe that song gets me every time. And maybe it doesn’t. The point is, I believe it’s not how you make it to the playoffs, …
The Cashman-Headwarmer Dialogues: Because Everything Is Always Revealed at the End of the Season
The latest entry in the long-running series in which Brian Cashman discusses the current state of the New York Yankees. With his headwarmer. Headwarmer: Okay, …
The Surviving Grady Podcast: What the F$%k Happened to the Red Sox?
In this shabbily recorded (I had my mike way, waaaay down, to everyone’s delight) and hastily put-together podcast, Denton and I try to figure where …
Bedard Got Served, Then We All Did
Because you just can’t make this stuff up: Hours before taking the mound for the reeling Red Sox against the Orioles Tuesday night at Fenway …
Two and a Half Men
Right now, the Sox stand 2.5 games in front of the Rays in the wild card. I’m going to make a bold statement and say …
Meet the Feebles
Do I still think the Red Sox are going to the playoffs? Despite their absolutely shit-tastic September, I do. Do I think they’re actually going …
The Remains of the Day
Was last night’s thumping of the Orioles the beginning of the turnaround that’s gonna drive us into the postseason? Or just a law-of-averages blip on …
Today Is The First Day of the Rest of the 2011 Season
Look, I’m gonna make this brief. We’ve got two games today against the second-worst team in the American League. So if you guys were planning …
Because the Savviest Teams Understand the Need to “Keep It Interesting”
The Sox seem bent on making a liar out of me, especially with last night’s encore performance of “Time to Lie Down, Boys; the Rays …
I Still Want the East
Such is the life of the Red Sox fan. A couple days ago, I would have been happy to see the boys slide under the …
The Red Sox Will Make the Playoffs: A Prediction That Doesn’t Require the Sudden, Inexplicable Disappearance of Matt Albers and John Lackey
This is the post in which I tell you that I’ve stopped tearing what’s left of my hair out over the 2011 Red Sox. Because …
Tonight’s Pre-Game Pep Talk, Courtesy of Doctor Doom
“I’ve seen horrors in the Negative Zone that do not compare to the icy cold dread of a Kyle Weiland start to kick-off a critical …
Dear 2004 Red Sox: Please Stop. Before Pokey Reese Gets Added to the FBI’s Terror Watch List
Hey, 2004 Red Sox. WTF?! First Manny Ramirez gets arrested for allegedly tossing the missus, now Curt Leskanic, cult hero and player of the role …
What Has Two Thumbs and Two Hundred Wins?
This guy! Congrats to Timmeh on finally achieving his 200th win. The fact that he’s the last of the nice guys and the elder statesman …
Getting Wakefield to 200 Wins: A Different Approach
For what seems like the past ten years I’ve been begging the Red Sox offense to do everything in their power to help Our Man …
Dear September, Please Stop Punching Us in the Nuts
For a few brief moments in the ninth inning of last night’s game, we were back. Their “closer” was on the ropes, whacked around for …
We Remember Winning. And It Was Awesome.
Despite this 2-7 September hole, I’m not ready to cash in my chips on the 2011 Red Sox just yet. Hell, I lived through Dante …
The Ellis Burks Glamour Shot Says Chill the F$%k Out, People, and Root Your Boys On to the Playoffs
Folks, I follow two golden rules in this life. Number one is never pick up a hooker named “Armando.” The other, with all due respect …
When the World is Running Down, You Make the Best of What’s Still Around. In This Case, John Lackey.
Right now, John Lackey, we need you more than ever. With players dropping like flies day after day, you must transcend your human limitations and …
Let’s Win a Friggin’ Game, Eh?
Do you want to see the Sox head back to the States 1-for-Canada? Neither do I. As much as it pains me to beg the …
Paying It Forward… for the Jimmy Fund
Since we started this blog back in 2004, we’ve had the good fortune to meet a great many cool fellow Red Sox fans. And a …
And In The End, The Love You Take Is Equal To The Love You Gave To Wake
Dear Red Sox offense: Help get this guy his 200th win. He’s a stand-up guy and he deserves it. That is all.
Sox Pound Jays, Tease Wakefield
Sox Offense: See what we did there? Wakefield: Yes. Impressive. Sox Offense: Fourteen runs, motherf#$ker. That’s no joke. That’s a pummeling. Wakefield: Indeed it was. …
Step One: Seal Jon Lester in Carbonite…
…Because if he goes down, it’s “John Lackey, ALDS Game One Starter!” But I didn’t come here to hate. I came here to pray to …
And Starring Josh Beckett as the “Flash Mob of Fists”
So we’ve lost two series in a row and are 1-3 in September. As James Caan’s boss in “Elf” yelled, “That doesn’t happen!” And if …
Feelin’ Kinda Lackey
With 29 runs scored over the first two games of the series, I’m calling for a quiet one today. 2-0, maybe 3-1. Just enough so …
Today’s Pre-Game Inspirational Speech, Courtesy of Doctor Zaius
“Beware the beast man, especially these Rangers… for they are the devil’s pawns. Alone among God’s primates, they… aw, screw this. Just win the f$%king …
After an Epic Beatdown, Sometimes the Only Thing That Makes Sense is a Photo of Don Orsillo in a Swimming Pool
I can say absolutely nothing good about last night’s game other than the fact that they sold beer at the Park. That was the high …
Kevin Millar Saves The Day
Honestly, I don’t want to dwell on the game or the unexpected efficiency of Burnett or especially that called third strike to Gonzo in the …
Sox Whip Yankees, Restore Universal Order
Just a few seconds before heading out to the office but wanted to thank everyone who turned out last night for our Jimmy Fund Telethon …