In the first game of what I’ve boldly and drunkenly described as the most important series of the season thus far, the Red Sox drew first blood, taking down the Orioles in a textbook whalloping that couldn’t have gone any better if we’d planned it.

First, we had Steven Wright putting in his third complete game of the season (that’s as many as Clayton Kershaw, Chris Sale and Johnny Cueto, if you’re keeping score) and holding Baltimore to 4 hits and 2 runs with an absolutely filthy knuckleball. This is a guy whose name was barely registering in our minds when the Sox broke camp in April and owes most of his opportunities this year on injuries to other players. I can’t wait until we debate whether to start Price or Wright in game seven of the 2016 World Series.

We also had Xander Bogaerts extending his hit streak to 23 games and going 2-for-4. The X Man is currently leading the league in hits, average and being totally fucking awesome.


Of course, we had more heroics from David Ortiz, who did this:

And we also had the first-ever major league home run from Marco Hernandez:

So today, right now, at this moment, the Boston Red Sox have the best record in the American League, a two game lead in the east, the best shortstop playing the game, a pitcher who was little more than a question mark coming out of spring training becoming a cult hero, Ortiz still defying age and an entire team that probably deserves to start the All-Star game.

Cue the Gatorade shower… and Guerin Austin soaking.