History has shown us that every Batman must have his Joker. Every Casear his Brutus. Every Marty McFly his Biff. Every foodie that best friend who just wants to go to Arby’s. It’s a circle of conflict that has kept this world spinning for years.

Now we must add two more names to those classic confrontations: Don Orsillo and Terry Francona. For reasons I still don’t quite understand, Teets flat-out tackled Orsillo in the Sox dugout back in 2013. Kinda like his way of saying hello. So knowing that the final stop on the Red Sox’ 2015 Misery Tour would be Cleveland, you’d have been right to suspect that this epic battle would pick up where it left off:

Don kept the verbal beef alive, constantly referencing Tito’s “backfat” which made delivering any serious punches almost impossible. He also lobbed some bombs whenever he could.

Serious question: If Teets and DO enter a cage match, who walks out? I’d have to hit 10bet (where I do all my top-notch betting) to put a couple Gs down on Tito. As much as it kills me, he just looks a bit scrappier than Don.

With last night’s game being a solid snoozer from start to finish — and the Red Sox assured of another sub-.500 season — the Don/Teets donnybrook was the highlight of the broadcast. That’s the magic of Orsillo right there, making a dead-ass game seem like must-see TV.

You’ve got your work cut out for you, Dave O’Brien.