wade_miley_milks_cow

I don’t want to come across as insensitive to the American Dairy Council or the Future Farmers of America, but I’ll just lay out the facts. Wade Miley had been on something of a roll, with three consecutive wins under his officially-licensed Dukes of Hazzard belt. Through his last three starts, he had gone 21.2 innings, scattering 16 hits and giving up just three earned runs.

Then, on Friday night, before the Sox/Rangers game, he milked a cow.

In his first start since the cow milking, last night, he lasted only four innings, giving up nine hits and six runs and making an error.

There are two ways to look at this. The obvious one is that Wade Miley isn’t really all that great a pitcher in the first place, and his luck was bound to run out eventually. But I prefer to blame the cow. Because, honestly, I’ve run out of Red Sox players to blame.

The team has been circling the bowl for weeks now, and outside of the one, brief moment of sunshine that Eduardo Rodriguez’s start brought us, the time to flush has been long overdue. The fact that they’re only four games out in the East, despite having the second worst record in the American League, is testament to just how shitty this division has become.

Farrell’s job is on the line, Cherington’s looking like the dumbest guy in the room and Rusney Castillo, the guy we were all pining for just 10 days ago, is hitting .192. Maybe “shitting .192” is a better way to put it. Either way, ugh.

All I can say is: thanks a lot, cow.

I tweeted this last night around the eighth inning. I’m just gonna post it here as well.