With his final season upon us, it wasn’t outrageous to think that David Ortiz would become a one-man quote machine for the bulk of 2016. I just didn’t expect that he’d be dropping such gold on us right out the gate. After belting a home run during yesterday’s opener, Papi explained that once the season starts, he’s all business. Or, as he put it, “when the light goes on, Papi goes on.”

Brilliant. And it’s only getting better from here. Strap yourselves in, kids.