Break?! Awesome doesn’t take a f#$king break!

I found a number of important causes to rally behind. For example, why can’t I get a decent Pabst outside the 128 belt?

Oh, you know. Just working on my latest porno flick.

My agent will have to answer that for you.


You realize I was joking, right? I just spent the time painting a shed.

I’ve been practicing the art of drinking beer by osmosis.


I took a meeting with Nick Fury about some side project he needs my help on.

I spent a couple days in San Miguel, where I became deeply embroiled in a bitter feud between two families vying to gain control of this little Mexican border town. One one side we had the Rojo brothers–Don Migeul, who was mean as a snake, Esteban and Ramón; on the other, the family of the town sheriff, John Baxter. Let’s just say I saved the day, cleaned up the town, and got the girl in the end. Oh, and I also bought a Lexus at Herb Chambers in Norwood.

Honest. I’m forbidden by law to take my shirt off. Even at the beach.