Will nothing stop the Red Sox Express? No. Nothing will. And you would do well to get out of its way as it barrels toward you. The Oakland A’s certainly did. Even though Derek Lowe continued to pitch like a guy who’d rather be at home watching “Law & Order: The Hall Monitor Years” (coming soon to NBC!), the A’s did everything they could to avoid the “W,” including a three-run throwing error by shortstop Bobby Crosby (who also went 0-for-4, just to ensure a post-game wedgie from his teammates).

But enough about the A’s. This one was all about the Sox. Again. Varitek knocks in three runs with a monster home run. Ortiz and Bellhorn each deliver an RBI. (And how amazing is it when we’re sitting here, watching the games, EXPECTING Bellhorn to get a key hit.) Millar, who couldn’t have found his ass with both hands last night, collects two hits. And Foulke shuts the door in the ninth.

Not to mention Youkilis, our new cult hero. He gets a hit, scores a run, picks up an RBI. He’s been on base in every game he’s played since joining the team. Dude even has his own crowd chant. If he were a comic book character, he’d be drawn by Jack Kirby, with a thickly creased forehead and hands like five Hershey bars stuck to a basketball. If he were a cop show character, he’d be the cool but tough cop, the guy who smokes a lot, loves his mom, and gives suspects a good cock-punching every know and then, just because he can. He is young and exciting and fun to watch. And with Mueller in the M*A*S*H* unit, we’re gonna see a lot of the kid. I’m thinkin’ he’s gonna represent just fine.

So… a five game win streak to dispel the demons of a rocky road trip. We’re back home now where everything makes sense and Ben Affleck can be forgiven for the craptastic “Reindeer Games.” Regarding Affleck, who was in attendance last night, I’m not afraid to give the guy his props. For one thing, he’s slept with J-Lo. For another, unlike a lot of these celeb poseurs who show up in the front row at the World Series, he bleeds the Red. Hell, he showed more range as a spectator during the 2003 ALCS than in any of his flicks… cheering his balls off when the Sox were making hay and looking dazed and despondent when the Yanks prevailed.

I’m calling for the brooms tonight. Arroyo will be raring to go after a metza-metza showing his last time out. Even though Mulder will be tough, I’ve got enough confidence in the Sox bats these days. At least when Kapler and Crespo aren’t in the line-up.

And then we get Seattle over the weekend. C’mon, man. Is there no one on this planet who will challenge us?