Quick hits for Monday morning: Watched the 60 Minutes bit on Canseco last night, and my favorite quote was from writer Howard Bryant: “What we’re …

…has a cover story on Johnny Damon, in which he reveals, among other things, that he’s contractually bound to keep his hair long for the …

Watching the replay of Game 7 of the ALCS last night, I’m reminded of just how goddam zombified I was — we all were — …

With apologies to McSweeney’s. ACT ONE, SCENE THREE Goneril: Did my father strike my gentleman for chiding of his fool? Bronson Arroyo: I don’t know …

Am I the only person watching the NESN ALCS replays like I’m seeing this stuff for the first time? During last night’s Game Five repeat, …

Episode XIV, wherein Red returns from a business trip and brings everybody down. I love planes. Seriously. Love travelling coach and stuffing myself into tiny …

NESN presents the 2004 ALCS, beginning tonight at 8:00pm. Speaking as a guy who officially threw in the towel after the abomination that was Game …

One of the things that’s been helping me through the baseball-less winter, besides the NESN re-runs [ALCS 2004 starts next Monday!] and stacks of European …

So this is what I’ve been reduced to. Collapsed across the couch, empty Heineken bottles strewn about the floor, every light in the place turned …

The best thing about winning the World Series? Well, there’s the money, the ring, the bragging rights, the look on your neighbors’ faces when you’re …

When he left us for the Blue Jays, I was all, “To heck with that fat bastard” and “Have fun playing in front of 2,500 …

Last night, we drank. And when we drink, in between oafish attempts at “l’amour” and trying to make like Wade Boggs and will ourselves invisible …

If Mark Bellhorn was a movie, he’d be Repo Man. If he was a band, he’d be Wilco. If he was a TV show, he’d …

Just when we thought we couldn’t pack any more Dave Roberts love into this website… we’re packing in more Dave Roberts love. Because not a …

Confession: I’m a winter soul. I love when it gets dark at 4:00 in the afternoon. Snow drifts up to my ass and my car …

…but Carl Pavano ain’t one. Actually, more like 39 problems. These are the thoughts that haunt my sleep: 1. Randy Johnson. 2. Randy Johnson’s haircut. …

EPSN and Dirt Dogs note that Derek Lowe is on the verge of signing with the Los Angeles Dodgers. Not surprisingly, Derek himself has no …

The big news for tonight’s Hot Stove Cool Music show at the Paradise, at least in my fevered brain, is that Theo Epstein will be …

It’s official. Ball gate is on. And no, this isn’t some cheap reference to Michael Jackson’s legal problems. In a nutshell [d’oh!], Minty held on …

It’s Friday morning, and after a night of barfights and gunplay [Thank you, Providence], we’re just gonna let this one devolve into a series of …

I’ll miss the Pokester. Although injuries and the emergence of The Bell as RSN’s new cult hero limited his playing time in 2004, he leaves …

This is the first time I’ve ever really sat and watched El Tiante pitch. Two words: F–king. Awesome. Best Red Sox player name ever: Dick …

Okay. So. You’ve bought all of the DVDs, commemorative scrap books and Red Sox World Champion sweatshirts you could get your hands on. You’ve got …

First of all, f–k Randy Johnson and f–k the Yankees. I hope they sign Beltran and Griffey and Sosa and Clemens and Aquaman and install …

1. Accept the fact that Scarlett Johannson will not be returning my calls, making me waffles, or providing me with a personal re-enactment of the …

Happy holidays, y’all.

Red Writes Theo Epstein Theo: I’ll make this short and sweet. As Christmas presents go, this ranks right up there with the Tranformers Fortress Maximus. …

George Steinbrenner Writes Javier Vazquez Mr. Vazquez: Big Man here. Don’t want to go to L.A., huh? Look here, assface, if this caper of yours …

Sean McDonough Writes Joseph Abboud Good evening, Joseph, Sean McDonough here, coming to you tonight by pen and paper from an elegant hotel room overlooking …

Dear Mr. Roberts: Just heard that you’ve been traded to the San Diego Padres. It’s disappointing for sure, because the image of you skimming your …

Dear Theo: You dick. So you don’t want me on your team any more. Fine. I’m totally cool with that. I don’t understand it, especially …

Anyone get the feeling Theo and crew have no f–king idea what they’re doing? Neither do I.

For those keeping score: Tim Hudson goes to Atlanta. Randy “Chewbacca” Johnson likely going to the Yankees. Meanwhile, Derek Lowe remains trapped in an old, …

I miss him already. Miss the swagger. The head pointing. The drama queen antics. The Great Zim Toss of 2003. The Yoda mask. The spastic …

Dudes, it is so cool that my man Boomer has signed on with the Red Sox. As you may or may not know, me and …