With the Red Sox bullpen a model of inconsistency, mowing down opposing batters one night then giving up the farm like it was their job the next, a sense of panic seems to have enveloped the Nation. How else to explain chatter that the Sox might kick the tires on Jonathan Papelbon, recently released by the Nationals.

I could go on for days about everything that’s wrong with this, but the most glaring is the idea of injecting a dude who is more or less unhinged into a clubhouse that actually appears harmonious. Fact is, we’ve already got a handsomely paid closer. Bring Pap back, and you risk shaking Kimbrel’s confidence while throwing a guy who would want to be closer but wouldn’t be into the mix.

You want a disgruntled Papelbon in your clubhouse? Me neither.

So let’s continue to speak fondly of Paps when we look back on 2007, and leave it at that. For some players, you simply can’t go home again. For others, you shouldn’t. The only exception being this guy:


Of course, if the Sox can somehow re-acquire the Papelbon puppet (or “The Pappet” as we dubbed it in 2007), I’m all for it. Inability to talk being a big selling point.