It’s right over there. See it? The orange one. Can you pass it to me, man? I’m feelin pretty comfy sitting here and I see you’re chatting with Wade Miley but I really have no interest in getting up. You’re already standing. So can ya grab it for me, E? *tap tap tap* Hey, I know you pitched a hell of a game against a playoff-bound team, but I need my goddam electrolytes NOW. A man gets parched on his way to 200 hits.

Stay thirsty, my friends.