Anna Benson, wife of New York Mets pitcher Kris Benson, recently stated on the Howard Stern show that if her husband ever cheated on her, she’d exact revenge by sleeping with the entire Mets organization, including coaches and trainers. To further her point, according to the article, she’d also consider boffing any visiting team players who happened to be in town when the revelation was made. Could it be just a ploy to lure Pedro? Who knows. But it got us thinking about what a night on the town from Kris and his teammates might be like…
Kris Benson [rubbing his temples after too many tequila shots]: Dudes, I think I’m gonna call it a night.
Cliff Floyd: Huh? Are you kidding? The night is young. Look at all the ladies in this place.
Kris Benson: Don’t even go there.
Mike Piazza: Kris, that redhead over there has been staring at you for hours.
Kris Benson: Really? Wow. She’s hot. Damn, what am I saying. I’ve got to get home.
Victor Zambrano: Just a couple more rounds. Hey, waitress. Do you know who this is? [pointing to Kris Benson]. This is Kris mutherf–ing Benson! Hey ladies! Kris Benson’s in the house!
Tom Glavine [with a girl on each shoulder]: Did someone say Kris Benson? These two women have been trying to meet him all night.
Todd Zeile [with yet two more girls]: They’ll have to get in line, Tommy. These two here have been waiting even longer.
Braden Looper [walking into bar with three hookers]: There’s the birthday boy over there! Hey, Kris!
Meanwhile, across town, the phone rings in Omar Minaya’s bedroom.
Omar: Hello?
Bobby Valentine: Hey, Omar! It’s Bobby. Listen. I’m interested in getting back with the Mets. My only condition would be to keep that Benson kid around. He’s got the skills, baby!
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In other news, I have now watched NESN’s Faith Rewarded six times since I purchased it on Friday. Yes, I have a problem. But it’s a good one.
Check yesterday’s post just below for our review of the DVD.
