I Was Your Silver Lining But Now I’m Gold

F@#king Jon Lester.

That’s what I said. Yesterday. When the game ended.

F@#king Jon Lester.

But I said it in the good way. The way we always speak of Lester in this house. Because he makes things happen.

And I said it because he did it again. In Chicago, with SG Secret Agents Curtis and Amy and Boots in the house.

At a time when every game is precious. When we were teetering precariously on the brink of dropping our third straight, the AL East’s taillights fading faster and faster from view. He came in and laid down the law just like he always does, not allowing a single one of Ozzie Guillen’s Soldiers of Love to cross the plate through seven innings.

As my Internet Wife Amalie Benjamin points out in today’s Globe, in 17 of his last 18 starts, Doc Lester has given up just three earned runs or fewer. And that, as they say in science labs across America, doesn’t suck. Adding to his long list of accolades, the guy also became the first Sox lefty to lodge 200 strikeouts in a season. And unless Summer Beckett emerges from the shadows–beginning this afternoon–I’d say Lester’s also earned the start in game one of the ALDS. Hell, I’d even run him against that corrupt bastard Menino, just to prove Lester’s a better man than the house ape allegedly “leading” our fair city.

Lester got by with a little help from his friends as well, as The Elf made a stunning, sure-to-be-Emmy-nominated play in the first to quell a possible White Sox uprising. There were also home runs from V-Mart–who looms larger every day in our line-up–and Lowell, as well as three hits from Ellsbury in the leadoff spot, which is always a good sign.

Yanks lose, Rays lose, Rangers lose, so we gain on all three. Which brings us to today’s game, a marquee match-up between Commander Kick Ass and Mark “Perfect Game” Buehrle. I’m still hoping that the 0-2, 8.88 ERA showing across Beckett’s last four starts has been part of an elaborate ploy to lull his enemies into a false sense of security. The Man’s never lost to the White Sox; I see no reason to start doing so now.