Another day, another craptastic performance from a Yankees starter against the Sox. This time it was Chien-Ming Wang, who was apparently eager to get back to the clubhouse to catch up on Jon & Kate Plus Eight, since his worthless ass was done after less than one hour, with 2.2 innings, 6 hits and 4 earned runs to his credit.
Not that Timmeh was looking much like Cy Young either, with 8 hits and three runs surrendered over 6 innings and more than a few heart-attack theatre moments. But he was able to prevail, thanks to some otherworldly support from the bullpen–and Oki in particular–and the offense, which continues to churn it out. Everyone but the Mighty Ortiz had a hit; Kottaras had two. Youkbacca and Scenic Lowell went yard. And JD Drew legged out a triple.
Still, I’ve got to believe that no one enjoys puttin’ a hurtin’ on the New York Yankees quite like Timmy Wakefield. And I’m sure he gets himself psyched up for these games by eating his pre-game sandwich with cardboard cut-outs of Dan Duquette (who left him off the 1999 ALCS roster vs. New York) and Aaron Boone, just to “set the mood.” He’s now got eight wins — twice as many as the handsomely paid AJ Burnett, for those keeping score — and could be on track for, dare we think it, another 17-win season.
On the opposite side of the field, Jeter and A-Rod were officially as useless as those other two guys in The Black Eyed Peas. You know, the asian-looking guy with the long hair and the black dude with the mohawk who seem to just kinda jump around and wave their arms animatronically while will.i.am and Fergie do the actual singing or whatever the f@#k you call that shyte. Combined, they went 0-fer-8 and left 6 men on base, leaving offense duties to Johnny “powered by steroids” Damon, Posada and Mrs. Teixeira, who tried, but couldn’t get it done. Leaving us to snag our seventh straight win against the bad guys, and putting us all alone at the top of the East… for now.
Tonight’s the biggest test. Brad Penny vs. CC Sabathia. Can the 161 million dollar zeppelin–a guy who earns more in one inning of work than most of us will earn in our lifetimes–get it done? If not, I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s Daily News.
