I want to go on record right now: If the Red Sox don’t win the 2009 World Series, but manage to go 19-0 against the Yankees in the regular season, I’d be fine with it.
Because there’s something outlandishly awesome about watching the bloated, five-hundred million dollar circus roll into town, unload the high-priced talent on our field, fumble aimlessly for a couple hours, then leave like a pack of waterfront hobos, scuffling for the last remaining bits of their pride, with Youkbacca’s cleat stuffed up their collective South 40.
What made last night’s 7-0 beat down of the Yanks so fantastic was that everything turned when the Yank’s 80 million dollar stud pitcher couldn’t get one over on The Large Father, despite Papi’s epic struggles thus far in 2009. That home run was vintage Papi, absolutely battered to straightaway center, and should have instantly earned Burnett a career-ending wedgie on the bus ride back to the hotel. The guy sucked mightily, leaving after just two and two-thirds innings after giving up five earned runs. Meanwhile, Commander Kickass solidified his return to 2007 form, surrendering one paltry hit over six innings and dope-slapping the Yanks into submission like he did back in the 2003 World Series.
And just for the record, Jeets, Damon, Mrs. Teixeira and A-Rod were a combined 0-for-13.
Look, I know we’re not going to win them all. The Yanks are stacked, top to bottom, and there’s just no way we’re gonna keep a perfect record against them. But right now, we do have that perfect record. And Ortiz is coming around. And Beckett and Lester are tearing it up again. And John Smoltz is waiting in the wings.
Is it enough to topple the 500 million dollar juggernaut? Right now, the beer says yes. But either way, it’s going to be amusing as hell watching the rest of this season unfold.
