As has been well documented on this silly-ass blog, I don’t watch football. Nothing against the game or our own New England Patriots, but I grew up in a house in which the only Officially Recognized Sport was baseball. And I never really acquired a taste for anything else, despite the best efforts of friends to convince me that there’s plenty of good stuff to fill that empty place between the last out of the World Series and the first pitch of spring training.

So while the rest of the world is watching today’s Super Bowl, I’ll be tending to other things. Which, of course, is Latin for “watching porn.”

I will, however, check in for the halftime show, because I’m all about The Boss. But it’ll be tough to beat the single greatest halftime show ever. Yeah, you know the one: