Keep prayin’, baby.

How many times?

How many times can we keep the devil in check? Blow cheap cigar smoke in Death’s face? Stuff the grim reaper in a locker full of Youk’s used jockstraps?

With three innings to go in game five, we were toast. Just like we were in 2004. Just like we were in 2007. Only, we weren’t. We had some spice left in us. And now, with a victory in game six, we’ve given ourselves a chance to make the impossible possible once again.

There will be a game seven later tonight.

Can you f@#king believe it? I mean, seriously… while you were sweeping up the broken glass after game four, did you ever think we’d be here? Again? Neither did I.

The pressure? Right now, it’s hanging comfortably on the Rays’ shoulders. They were seven outs away from stubbing us out like a cigarette. Now it’s all evened up at three games each, with the table set for one, final elimination game. Despite Cliff Floyd’s prognostication:

“We don’t go up there and think, Now we’ve got to beat Beckett — no one cares about Beckett,” the Rays’ Cliff Floyd said. “Face him the same way you face everybody else. If anything, Beckett should be worried about us. We just beat him.”

And while Commander Kick Ass performed valiantly, wiping away the ugly stain of his last ALCS start, it seemed oddly fitting that the true hero of the game was the Captain himself, Jason Varitek, whipping boy of the fans and media alike, the guy who’s been here when we pulled a Lazarus in 2004 and 2007. His first hit of the ALCS was a home run that ended up proving the difference.

Now we turn to Jon Lester, another pitcher who’s probably eager to atone for his last ALCS start. And if there’s a guy I wanna have holding the ball when it’s win or go home, it’s Lester.

We may be nine innings away from another trip to the big stage. Stay cool. Stay collected. Stay fabulous. And join the revolution.

Oh, and pressed hams all around for the dunderheads at TBS who were unable to transmit the game’s first inning due to a couple of overloaded circuits or something like that. For f@#k sake, back in my shit-ass dorm room I was able to run a blender, three fridges, four illegal hotplates, a microwave and a neon Bud Light sign off one goddam outlet (and a shitload of extension cords) without so much as tripping the breaker. I expect a bit more from Ted Turner.