Josh:
How’s everything going. Hope all’s well. Shit’s okay here. Keeping it real and whatnot.
Anyway, Gamera tells me you’re not coming to Japan with the rest of your team. This is disappointing news, as I do miss my old drinking buddy. I did, however, receive a telegram from someone named “Timlin” who said he had something from you that he had to deliver to me. Considering our rather spotty past, and noting that the telegram from Timlin was accompanied by the torn out but still-beating heart of an elk, I thought it best to write you on a couple things.
First, there’s the matter of those fifty Gs I owe you. Understand: I want to pay you back, and I thought for sure I’d have it for you a couple months back before that f@#king Australian toy deal fell through. But the good news: I got a call from my agent, and he’s got a script for me. Something about Nazis and flying carpets interlaced with uplifting messages about eating vegetables and avoiding syphilis. Personally, I think this one’s gonna be huge, and I will most certainly have your dough once principal shooting is done.
Second, I realize you may still be a bit sensitive about that whole thing with Ghidorah and your ski lodge. But if you recall, even though I was the one who put him in touch with you, I begged you not to rent it out to him. Two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars worth of damages later, I’m sure that’s all irrelevant to you, but hear me out: you rented your ski lodge to a motherf@#king three-headed monster. That ain’t like renting to the McCordles, where the worst thing you have to fear is one of the kids pissing on the carpet. A three-headed monster is going to f@#k shit up. I tried to tell you this, Josh, so my conscience is clear. I’m hoping that you’ve been able to move on as well.
That’s about it. Your guys are just about touching down and I have a business trip out of town I have to get to. Not that I’m avoiding this Timlin guy, mind you. But I promised Mothra I’d co-sign an auto loan and you know how shit goes with that rummy.
Seriously, call me the next time you find yourself in these parts. We’ve got a lot to catch up on. Oh, and tell Tavarez they’re still holding his old job for him on Monster Island.
Yours,
Rodan
PS: Leeann says hi.
