That’s right, spring. Just ’cause it’s cold enough to freeze your eyeballs (among others) here in Boston and we’re getting a little of the so-called “wintry mix” doesn’t mean we can’t talk about spring. It’s not snowing in Fort Myers, and that’s where the action is starting Thursday. As far as I’m concerned, once that equipment truck rolls, winter is over. So let’s get into it.
1) The Shoulder: This story just reeks of…I don’t know, it just reeks. The guy pitched in October, had a physical including an MRI in November for his new contract, and now he can’t lift his arm over his shoulder, open a door, or throw a baseball five freakin’ feet? I’m not a doctor, I don’t play one on TV, and I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, but this just doesn’t work for me. There’s gotta be the “I fell off the trapeze in my bedroom and landed on my pitching arm” or “that do-it-yourself tendon repair kit is junk” story being kept under wraps.
2) The Ass: Or, the artist formerly known as “The Rocket.” Can this story just go away? Like, now? It’s starting to become like an episode of Twin Peaks (no, that is not a Debbie Clemens reference!). Pettitte said something but won’t say it public, someone has dirty cotton swabs and Roger injected something in Debbie’s ass. Somewhere there is a Zapruder film that explains everything.
3) The Voices: The Glenn Geffner era is over in Boston! Listening to games on the radio will no longer be an excercise in restraint. The wordy, stat-babbling bore has left the building. We’ve got Castig, Dave O’Brien, and now Dale Arnold sharing the coveted job of Red Sox radio-men. Bring it on.
4) The Beard: We’ve got Youk and the magic beard manning first base for another year. Error-free fielding, a .280 average, and all that chin-hair for a mere $3 million? Best deal since the sale of Manhattan.
5) The Rest: Dice-K has a mullet, Tito has no contract, A-Rod is on the juice (OK, I made that one up, but I have a feeling…) and the Sox are looking to repeat. We’ll be adding a new championship banner in a matter of weeks.
Baseball will soon be upon us. Talk it up.
