With all due respect to Charlton Heston and Will Smith, I think Josh Beckett would do a lot better as the last man on earth. Can’t you just picture him, doing a buck ten down a deserted Boylston Street in a beat-up Chevy Nova, pausing occasionally to ransack convenience stores for tobacco, take out a few zombies and drop F-bombs to no one in particular? Because I can.
In the first inning, after looking positively unhittable in erasing the first two batters, Commander Kick Ass surrendered a home run to Travis Hafner (who kinda looks like a grown-up version of one of the students from Dead Poets Society — rent the movie and you’ll spot the guy immediately.) But for some reason, I didn’t panic, even as Joe Morgan on ESPN radio told us, “Man, that’s what the Indians needed to do. You need to show a pitcher that he’s not invincible and Travis Hafner just sent that message to Josh Beckett.”
Only, that was pretty much all they showed him. From that point on, Beckett gave up just three more hits over six innings, striking out seven and basically sitting back and enjoying the Manny and Papi show. There ain’t nobody as locked in as those two right here, right now, and last night they did everything short of throwing CC Sabathia in a burlap sack and rolling him down D Street for a little “Southie justice.” Hell, when your line-up brings you 10 runs, you can even afford to do things like let Eric Gagne into the game; nearing the close of his Farewell, Boston Tour, the Gagner gave up his usual coupla hits and a walk, loading the bases yet still managing to strike out the side.
Tonight, we’re gonna need another one from Schilling. Because, as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t want to be relying on Matsuzaka or Wakefield for any heroics at the Jake. If Magic Curt can pull another postseason win from his mighty bag (not a euphimism, folks), I may feel comfortable enough to spend some of the cash I’d been scrounging for my couch on beer and Chelsea hookers.
Oh, and in the “Surviving Grady Sizemore” department, last night saw Grady go 0-for-5 with 3 Ks.
Lastly, here’s the Cleveland Indians’ official theme song. I dunno… sounds a little too “Honeymoon Suite” for my tastes.
