DynoMite! Hey everybody, JJ Walker here. Red and Denton offered me a box of Hostess cupcakes and a 40 to give you my expert-like game analysis. Who was I ta say no?
First let’s you and me get something straight. Bloody socks don’t win you no games, they’re just…gross. Lucky hats win games and that’s what I was wearing when I watched the game last night. So I say to all the Red Sox fans, you’re welcome.
Now about the game. That Schilling is one bad-ass white man. You got a tired bullpen, you need your starter to strap ’em on and put in some innings. That’s just what Schilling did. Check out the 5th inning, seven pitches and he’s done. Manny was still walking out to left and the inning was over!
I don’t know about those fools you got talking about the game on TV. They had some crazy-ass doll they were playing with, sitting it all upside down and wondering if it would get hurt if it fell. Crazy shit. And one time, they started getting all political making fun of the great Tricky Dick Nixon. That bald cat said “Nixon goes for the tutu.” You gotta respect dead presidents so I don’t even know what that was all about.
Back to Schilling. He drilled that dude Swisher. Then that crazy toy guy was getting ready to rumble. I’ve seen that look before, dude’s crazy. Violent tendencies, as the shrinks would say. I wouldn’t give that guy a bat. Shee-it, even his own teammates were giving him the “sit the f-ck down and shut the f-ck up” look.
I like that Timlin dude too. He catches better with an old towel than that Last Miledge-something guy catches with a glove. Finally, you all keep your eye on “The other Manny” Delcarmen. You know, in his last 9 appearances, he hasn’t given up a single run. None. And not to mention, but I will, he struck out 11 in those outings. I betcha he’s got a lucky hat too!
I’m out. Watch at 2:00, ladies and gents. One of these teams gets a lead and there might just be some throwdowns.
