Woman in Boston Harbor: Help! Help!

Edgah: ::jogging by::

Woman in Boston Harbor: Sir, help me!

Edgah: No Englais.

Woman in Boston Harbor: For the love of god, PLEASE.

Edgah: Eh. Alright. ::dives in::

Woman in Boston Harbor: I’m over here. Here!

Edgah: I know, I know… I can’t really swim.

Woman in Boston Harbor: Then we’re DOOMED.

Edgah: Wait. Er. Ack. ::flails arms helplessly:: No, I can’t.

Woman in Boston Harbor: Help!

Edgah: Help!

Dale Sveum in speedboat: I saw what happened! Don’t worry… I’m here! Listen, head that way! ::starts waving them to the left:: That way!

Woman and Edgah in Boston Harbor: YOU F–KING IDIOT! YOU JUST WAVED US INTO THE UNDERTOW. AAAHHHHHHGGGGGGG.

Dale Sveum: Oh no. Oh no. Gotta call the coach.

Francona on shortwave radio: Svuem? The season’s over. What the hell do you want?

Dale Sveum: Code 3231, sir. Woman drowning and Edgar dove in to save her. Now they’re both screwed.

Francona: Dove? You sure it was Edgar?

Dale Sveum: Sir, they’re in trouble. What can you do?

Francona: I’m doing what anyone in my shoes would do. I’m sending in Mike Timlin with a jetpack.

Timlin with a jetpack: Not… enough… juice… can’t… make… ::splashes into Boston Harbor::

Woman and Edgar and Timlin: Help!

Gammons on the shore: This is really the most fun this team’s been since last October.

Nomar: I know. Hey, what are you doing here anyway?

Gammons: Heck, I just like to leer at the joggers while they stretch. Hey, there’s one.

Nomar: ::looking:: Ooh.