Before we talk baseball, let me tell you a couple of things about Florida. Spending a week in Rotonda was like Deliverance meets Cocoon. A lot of sketchy NASCAR-fan/child-molester types and a lot of old people, all nicely secluded in the middle of friggin’ nowhere. I might as well have been in Foxnuts, Iowa searching for the elusive banjo-playing albino.

Now I’m back. Back to the relative civilization and depression-inducing weather of the northeast. Back to where I can drive over 35 mph on the highway and eat dinner after 4 PM. Back to where the internet is real, not science fiction. I wish I could tell you my radio silence was due to week-long closed door negotiations with NESN to get Remdawg to plug the book, but Red debunked that story already. Or that I was in a 5-day private screening of The Celebrity Hot Oil Wrestling Marathon, starring Jennifer Love-Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Geller, The Coors Lite twins and all former Baywatch Babes. Just not true.

Unfortunately, I was just simply not able to get online. When I asked where I could find a Wi-Fi Hot Spot, the first gentleman directed me to a trailer in a seedy part of town and simply told me to knock twice and ask for Madam Charles LaRouge. The next guy I asked threatened to have me arrested and sentenced to a week at the Manatee Springs Bible Camp and Alligator Farm. So, I gave up.

But I return with pictures. And the view from 4 rows behind the Sox dugout is spectacular. Especially for the SG ladies. My 15 year old daughter was in charge of the camera, so there are quite a few shots of your favorite players caught in your favorite action pose: stretching.

And still I tease. I will have the link to ALL the pictures later today…