Before embarking on the journey to 2005 (Year 2 in Red Sox Championship time), even before professing my resolutions, I need to clean the slate for this year. This won’t be pretty so if you have a weak stomach, or any self-esteem, you may want to surf elsewhere. Anyway…
I stopped believing. Yes, this is true. For a very short time between the end of ALCS game 3 and the end of game 5, I was spending my quiet time trying to find things that hurt more than being beat by the Yankees. Again. I contemplated plucking every hair from my body, one at a time, but how dumb would I look bald? I seriously considered repeated blows to the fingertips with a hammer, but what about my aspirations of becoming a hand model? The thought of running full-speed into a wall crossed my mind, but Johnny Damon had done it several times with no ill effects. Thankfully, the sedatives kicked in, and the Sox took games 4 and 5, and never again will my faith waver. And in my own defense, who can honestly say they didn’t stop believing?
I said nice things about Jeter. God, that hurt! After his diving catch into the stands at Fenway, while a disinterested Nomar watched from the bench, I praised the little shit publicly, on this very site. The guy did make a great play, and came out of the enemy stands bleeding, but..he’s Jeter. I’ll say five Hail Mannys, give myself a nut-slap, and let’s just move on, OK?
OK, I’ve made it through the real egregious issues, but I’ve got a few more minor things…
I went to the Boston Pops Holiday Show. It was off-season of course, not like I missed a Sox game or anything. It did get me thinking, if those people are such great musicians, do they really need a person of suspect sexual orientation waving a little stick around to play? And they did have Santa come out and mention the Red Sox, so it isn’t that bad, is it? Yeah, I know.
I watched every episode of American Idol. Sad, but true. My family and I make an event out of it every week and try to predict who will get booted. There is an occasional hot contestant, and Simon can be pretty comical when he ridicules people, but I don’t expect to be cut much slack on this one.
I hate Tessie. I think the song sucks and the band would have lived in obscurity if not for the obvious marketing ploy of latching on to the Red Sox. I mean, they are no Bay City Rollers.
The rest of my “sins” are either too dull to mention (not that any of these were particularly awe-inspiring), or restricted by gag order. If anyone else wants to get any indiscretions or guily pleasures off their chest, Red and I are here for you…
