Without a Sox game to watch, I get a little bit silly. So please indulge me as I blabber on about nothing in particular. Or, as I like to call it, business as usual.
— Last night, just to test my threshold for pain, I watched the Best Damn Sports Show’s All-Star Game special on Fox Sports. Turns out, I may have been missing out. I’m one of those rare creatures who actually finds Tom Arnold entertaining, and, as a sports host and interviewer, he’s a refreshing alternative to the sycophants and “hipper than thous” that have, sadly, become the norm on ESPN. Last night’s guests included Curt Schilling, Jeter & A-Rod, Joe Torre & Jack McKeon and Bud Selig, and I got so drawn in, I never even tuned in to the home run derby.
— Another good thing about BDSS? Leeann Tweeden. Yes. Good.
— Man, I wish we never traded away Curt Schilling. If he’s been this entertaining after only eight months, imagine how much joy could have been conjured over eighteen years.
— Randy Johnson will be in pinstripes by July 25. I don’t like saying it. In fact, some times I think I say it only because I hope that by vocalizing it, it certainly will never come true. But it will. And the suck factor will be raised to “critical.”
— Leeann Tweeden. I wish I knew more about her? How long has she been on BDSS? I heard her interviewed on EEI last week, and she’s apparently dating Josh Beckett. Who is on the disabled list. With “finger problems.” The mind wanders.
— Did anyone see the get-up that Ortiz wore to All Star Media Day? Dude was treading dangerously close to P Diddy territory. With just a hint of Parliament Funkadelic.
— One of the problems with Keith Foulke is that he looks too much like a puffy frat boy to strike fear in the hearts of batters. The best closers are troglodytes like Rod Beck, who with that hair and greasy beard prolly had opposing batters fearing some sort of reenactment of “Deliverance.” And Mariano Rivera, who with his sunken face and blank stare, looks like something out of “28 Days Later.” And Ugie Urbina, whom many a batter likely thought might shiv ’em if he didn’t strike ’em out. Even Tom Gordon, who stands about three feet tall, had that “cap-pulled-down-so-low-all-you-can-see-is-the-glow-in-his-eyes” thing going on. Give Foulke an eye patch and a fake scar and our problems wil be over.
— For the first time since 1999, I’m excited about an All Star Game. Clemens pitching to Piazza alone will be worth it. Also, Leeann Tweeden might be there.
— Yes, you read that correctly. I enjoy Tom Arnold.