You know how you watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre* and you sit there knowing that Leatherface is coming out of the goddam hole in the wall any minute and you watch these unsuspecting, half-naked teenagers wandering around not having the faintest idea of what’s about to hit them so you scream at the TV and say, “Just drop that shit and haul ass outta there, for chrissakes.” That’s how I’m starting to feel about the Red Sox bullpen [and Alan Embree in particular]. They’re out there. These dangerous, dangerous people. And we know that at some point, Tito’s coming out of the dugout to summon them and unleash the horror. So we sit there and cover our eyes and even though we’re on the good side of a 9-4 lead, we know that once these guys come into the game and start working their magic, nothing is safe. [Exempt is my man Timlin, who pitched 1 and 1/3 scoreless innings and who you just know could easily slip into one of the Chainsaw movies playing the “friendly but slightly demented” mechanic who helps the kids out by defeating Leatherface, but not before copping a few quality feels.]
But why dwell on the negative? The Sox have won seven of eight, are just two games outta first place [the Os and Yankees both lost last night]. More significantly, David Wells has now gone six consecutive games without a loss.. and still has yet to get caught walking pantsless through Daisy Buchanan’s. Meanwhile Damon and Varitek continue to make their case for admittance into the Legion of Super Heroes.
In short, unleash the happy. Summer’s here, and the Sox are rolling.
*My preference is for the recent remake, which features R. Lee Ermey and myriad gratuitous Jessica Biel ass shots. In short: Greatest! Movie! Ever!
