::Phone rings in Red’s apartment, moments after Aaron Boone’s home run ends the 2003 ALCS::
Red [pouring himself a glass of arsenic as he answers phone]: Hello?
Future Red: Hello, me? It’s me. I’m calling from the future.
Red: Huh? Who is this?
Future Red: It’s me. I mean you. It’s Red calling Red. Only I’m in the future. It’s October 2004, and I need to tell you something.
Red: Who is this? Boris? Prince Vinny? Alex from the Attleboro Y? I’m not in the mood.
Future Red: Shut up and listen to me. Put down the arsenic. The Red Sox are gonna win the World Series next year.
Red [wiping away tears as he watches post-game celebratory shots of Jeter and Torre dry-humping]: Oh man, I really don’t need this right now.
Future Red: It’s true. We’re going to win it all. Everything.
Red: Did you see what just happened? The Boone home run. F–k, we were so close. So close to actually beating these guys once and for all. How much is my heart supposed to take?
Future Red: It might hurt now, but next year’s gonna make up for it. You just gotta suck it up and believe me. The f–king Red Sox are going to win the World Series next year!
Red: Sure. Sure they are.
Future Red: It’s true! And they actually sweep it up, too. Blanking the St. Louis Cards in four games. And how’s this for beautiful moments… Ellis Burks, your favorite player, gets to carry the trophy off the plane and back to Boston.
Red: Ellis Burks? Right. And lemme guess, Bernard Gilkey catches the final out and Mike Greenwell drives in five runs?
Future Red: Well, there’ll be some personnel changes, but it’s all good. Like I said, the Red Sox win the World Series! And there’s a huge ass parade and the entire city goes nuts. Alan f–king Embree goes on the Tonight Show. It’s unbelievable.
Red [wiping his eyes as he watches Gammons interview Boone]: What about the Yankees?
Future Red: Buddy, you won’t f–king believe what we do to them.
Red: Please tell me it involves blow-torches.
Future Red: Even better. Let’s just say we hand them the single most devastating loss in their franchise’s history. Hell, in baseball history.
Red: No way.
Future Red: Listen, it hurts now. I know it does. And although it seems absolutely impossible to contemplate this right now, the Red Sox are going to have their greatest season ever next year. You absolutely will not believe how good it feels.
Red: I’ll assume that Grady Little gets his comeuppance?
Future Red: Oh, don’t you worry about that. Also, in your effort to make sense of all the pain and anguish, you’ll start up this website called — well, you’ll see. I don’t wanna ruin everything. Plus, this call’s costing me a fortune.
Red [putting away the arsenic]: So “Wait ’til next year” actually means something this year.
Future Red: It does. Keep the faith. It’s gonna be amazing.
Red [starting to feel better]: Okay. All right. Thanks for talking me down. And hey, at least Nomar will finally get a ring.
Future Red: Er, about Nomar…
