The best part about winning the World Series? The inevitable media fall-out that occurs shortly after the last bottle of champagne has been quaffed by Royce Clayton.
Last night was something of a late-night bonanza, with Jonathan Papelbon and Doug Mirabelli — the latter looking about as comfortable as a guy spending his first evening at Rum & Sodomy State Penitentiary — hitting QVC to help peddle some Sox goods. Simultaneously, the Bot could be seen on the Late Show, cracking wise with David Letterman. Extra Bases has the video and transcript, and it’s a thing of beauty:
Letterman: “What turned that around because it looked like the team from Cleveland was going to prevail? What happened to turn it around?”
Papelbon: “Well, we had Big Papi, aka David Ortiz, the Large Father, whatever you want to call him.” (audience laughs)
Letterman: (laughs) “The Large Father.”
Papelbon: “Yeah, uh, whatever you want to call him, it all translates, you know. He kind of got us guys together, just no coaches, no media, no nothing like that, and you know, kind of held a team meeting and said, ‘Hey, guys, look, you know,’ and this is quote-unquote David Ortiz.” (starts to impersonate Ortiz) “He goes, ‘Hey, guys, I’ve got to tell you some-sing, if you – ‘” (audience laughs) “‘Some-sing. If you wear a Red Sox uniform jersey, you’re a bad _____ _____.'” (audience roars with laughter and applause) “So, hey, that’s quote-unquote. Sorry about that.” (Papelbon smiles, audience still laughs; audience applauds)
Letterman: “Must have had one of my spells, because…”
Papelbon: “And this is actually coming from a guy, um, not very many people know this, but David Ortiz happens to be a huge Bedazzler.” (Dave cracks up laughing, audience laughs) “So, yeah, yeah, see like this jacket right here? He couldn’t wear this jacket normally, he’d have to put, like, Bedazzle a Lamborghini in the back, or something like that.” (audience laughs)
Next up, Manny on the Tonight Show and Papi on Conan O’Brien Friday night. Set TiVos to “stun.”