Oakland vs. New York
Chicago and Youk’s beard vs. New York
Tim McCarver vs. the auditory canal
Adrian Gonzalez discount Red Sox jerseys vs. Carl Crawford “action hamstring” figurines
The memory of 2007 Beckett vs. the memory of 2012 Beckett
“John Farrell is the answer!” vs. “His freakin’ team barely finished above us!”
The Monkees vs. the New Monkees
My liver vs. Jameson’s Irish Whiskey
Catwoman (Michelle Pfieffer) vs. Catwoman (Anne Hathaway)
Tim Burton’s Planet of the Apes vs. everything sensible and awesome
Ving Rhames vs. Ving Rhames
Crazy Ed Clammer vs. The Amazing Son of a Bitch
Curt Leskanic vs. America (just kidding)
Curt Leskanic vs. America (actually, I wasn’t joking–IT’S ON!)