Let’s see. Earth Wind and Fire all cued up?
Check.
Seventy-five solid hours of Rice highlight footage loaded up in the DVD player and set to “loop”?
Check.
Including the bit where I rushed out of the dugout and saved that kid who was hit by the ball?
It’s in there.
Members of the Baseball Writers Association tied up, Clockwork Orange-style?
Check.
Gah.
Excellent. Now. It’s time to begin.
Hey, lemme know when yer done, Jimmeh. I’m gonna roll ten straight showings of Mr. Holland’s Opus for these f–kers.
