The reports are in: Kevin Youkilis is engaged to Tom Brady’s sister Julie. She is a schoolteacher with a 5-year-old daughter, he is a sweaty ballplayer who may or may not already have a wife. Ah, the stuff of fairy tales.

Can you imagine next Thanksgiving at the Brady estates? Gisele in a sophisticated outfit, Tom decked out in a smoking jacket and ascot. Then in rolls Youk with a beer in one hand and a stogie in the other, his best flannel shirt perfectly complementing his carpenter jeans and work boots. And just as the chef places the golden brown turkey on the elegantly set dining room table, Youk tears off a leg and starts chomping on it. Later, a pantsless Youk goes on a drunken rant about the awful working conditions in the Swedish steel industry before passing out on the couch.

Yeah, I see this working out just great.