Thank you Tampa Bay Rays for giving the Red Sox the kick in the pants they need to get their collective shite together. As Red mentioned, you could have smiled to yourself and walked off the field with heads held high, secure in the knowledge you had just swept the reigning world champs. But no, you didn’t do that. You mocked them. You took a long-standing tradition and pissed on it. And there will be retribution. Lucky for you, Rays Republic, the Yankees will pay for your sins.
But before I move on, my therapist recommended (during our emergency session last night) that I vent my frustrations publicly. So here I go, plenty of the ol’ blame pie for everyone.
Dice-K: Dude, you need to sac up and throw the ball over the plate. I’m pretty sure the Sox didn’t pay a hundred million dollars for a 5-inning starter. You take that game into the seventh and it’s a win. Five walks last night? Gyro this.
Craig Hansen: Why are you here? 17 walks and 23 hits in 24 innings – you can’t get major league hitters out. End of story. 95 South is that way, have a nice AAA career.
Tek: Cap’n, you’re killing the team. It’s to the point they should be letting the pitcher hit and DH’ing for you. Four more LOB’s and three K’s last night. And you couldn’t even make contact on the hit-and-run? I think it’s time you give some Yankee a glove facial and get things kick-started.
Tito: Our beloved manager…when did the crack addiction begin? ‘Cause that’s the only reason for doing some of the things you’re doing lately. Why are you continually bringing Oki into tight games? The guy is losing it – he needs to do mop-up for a while and get some confidence back. Why was Tek at the plate again in a critical situation? And why did you call for the hit-and-run the second time? Right the ship, my man, right the ship.
Well, I certainly feel better.
Now, on to the Bronx to make the Yankees pay for what Tampa did to us. We’ll settle that score the right way in September, but for now, a little pinstripe pinata will help ease the pain. It starts with Lester. We need 8 strong to get to Papelbon and rest the ‘pen. Make it so.
