1) “It’s only April” – Last time I checked, a game in April counts as much as a game in September. Remember 2005? We had the same record as the Yankees but they won the division? I don’t think we want to go back and look at how many early games we lost in ass-aching splendor that could have given us the division.

2) “He had good stuff” – Yeah, right. Case in point: last night. Wake had shit. He was bouncing balls 2 feet in front of the plate and the-guy-who-isn’t-Mirabelli just couldn’t handle them. Don’t get me wrong, I love Tim. He is truly one of the good guys, just ask anyone at the Jimmy Fund which player is there the most. Tim Wakefield. The reality is he just doesn’t pitch well in that stadium.

3) “We have to tip our caps” – F–K that shit. This team is built to win, not to play nice-nice when they get their asses handed to them. Sure, they’ll run up against a hot pitcher or a bunch of hitters in the groove, but save the cliches for a win, OK?

4) “It’s a marathon, not a sprint” – This little gem is generally saved for the inexplicable “resting” of key players at inopportune points in the season. It’s just as long a season for the other team, and they seem to always have their stars playing. Take a little advice from Sam Elliot in Roadhouse: “I’ll get plenty of rest when I’m dead” – well, he did have a knife stuck in his neck a few minutes later, but you get the point.

All in all, we got a good old-fashioned shellacin’ last night. I’m not buying into the theory of pitching Wake between Schilling and Beckett to break up the two fast-ballers. How many times are these guys going to throw in the same series during the year? I say pitch your best arm when he’s available. This isn’t chess club.

Finally, why put a Manny picture up? No idea, it kind of looked like he was working on a new “Dancing With The Stars” crossed with the “monster” in Young Frankenstein trying to dance. And we know he’s just off to a slow start, but when he heats up, God help opposing pitchers. At 8:05 we get our first real look at Josh Beckett – I’m calling for a big win. See you there.