Hello Oakland. We are the Red Sox. You may remember us from the 2003 ALDS. Heh.

We are in your house tonight. And we are on a roll. We realize that you are as well, but we like our roll better.

We have come to shake down your pitchers, dismantle your offense, poke fun at the fact that MC Hammer once worked as your ballboy, pillage your souvenir stands, overturn your hotdog carts, reminisce about how Derek Lowe made Miguel Tejada cry, and hear the lamentations of your women.

Also, the series? We shall take it. 2-1.

Thank you, and goodnight.