Seeing Wade Boggs in pinstripes was a strange thing. Seeing Roger put them on was even stranger (though, oddly, not as weird as seeing his body stuffed in that Blue Jays uni). Watching Johnny Damon and Mark Bellhorn and Alan Embree and Mike Myers shuffle through the Yankee Stadium turnstiles was equally unsettling, and not just because I naively assumed the entire 2004 team would be encased in carbonite at some point for eternal protection and the occasional memorabilia show appearance.
Stranger still would have been Kevin Millar — El Bencho himself — as a member of the New York Yankees. But it’s an idea which, according to Nick Carfado’s recent Baseball Notes column, was floated by Damon himself:
“I tried to get him here. We needed a righthanded-hitting first baseman and I thought Millar would be perfect, but I lost that argument. I thought he’d be great in our clubhouse. Kevin’s happy in Baltimore and he had an opportunity to keep playing, so he needed to take that. It’s a good fit for him.”
Of course, the most unthinkable of all would be Trot Nixon in the stripes. Thankfully, the Yanks aren’t in the market for a right fielder. But if they ever wanted to pull a move just for the sake of f–king with the Boston fans’ psyche, scooping up Trot would be a good one. Trot as a Yankee? Man, that’d be like Axl Rose announcing he’s fronting a new incarnation of Loverboy. Or George Lucas re-cutting the original Star Wars to add Tim Allen and Jim Belushi. It just wouldn’t make a lick of sense in our world.
That said, I believe that just as Spider Man’s body eventually rejected that black symbiote suit, Nixon’s body would probably repel the Yankee jersey. He’d just sit there putting them on, one after another, and watch them turn to dust.
Meanwhile, we await further word on Drew. Stay tuned.
